It is with very great gravity that I have to report that, yet again, the residents of Gert Cottage have been the innocent victim of a crime.
Someone nicked our wheelie bin.
Last night at about 2 am Jimmy heard the sound of a wheelie bin being wheeled past the window. He thought it a bit odd, but at 2 am one isn't inclined to leap out of bed, and challenge a wheelie-bin pusher with "Oi what are you doing?"
And when he left the house it was gone. He did a quick check round the neighbouring houses but, unsurprisingly, our upstanding neighbours hadn't crept out under cover of night. Jimmy reckons it was stolen to be used as a getaway vehicle in an unrelated crime.
Later I phoned the borough environmental services helpline* to report it stolen and request a new one. Perhaps with Jimmy's conspiracy theory on my mind I said, "Should I report it to the police?" and immediately thought "God, I'm stupid...". But the operator said "Yes please, and could you let us know the CAD number (crime number)". If I do, I'll get a letter from Victim Support.
I think Victim Support do a marvellous job and I also recognise that they do offer counselling to all crime victims without making value judgements about what is serious and isn't. For example, a theft of a wheelie bin might in some cases be the final straw of a traumatic saga of harassment and intimidation. However, I assure you that I am not traumatised but just irritated that we'll have to leave our rubbish in bags, which probably won't be collected.
In other crime victim news, I stepped out of the lift today to come face to face with my MilkSnatcher who looked me up and down in a contemptuous manner so favoured by catty teenage girls. If that isn't an admission of guilt, what is!
And I think I have collected my second enemy in a week. The other evening I stepped out of the building and was vaguely aware of somebody sounding off in a despising tone. I was rather shocked to then hear my name spat out with some venom. I didn't know her, and I don't go round trying to upset people at work, well apart from my own team, but that's not trying, that just happens. So I'm really puzzled as to what I could have done to make a complete stranger (albeit one I share a building with - along with about 4,000 others) hate me. It can't be work related, and I don't recognise her from my local area, so I'm at a complete loss as to know why...All I can say is, if it's work related, there are procedures. And if it's not work-related, it shouldn't be brought to work, even if we were technically on the public highway.
*by the way, Option 1 - Streetcare and Recycling doesn't seem the obvious choice for household rubbish related enquiries. But process of eliminating Options 2-4 makes me think it is...Plain English, please
