My friend X has - or certainly had - a crush on John Prescott. I could never see it myself. Other men she had crushes on included John Thaw, Alastair Campbell and Brian Mawhinney (I kid you not). I just put it down to being one of those things.
I went to Young Labour Conference one year. John Prescott came to address us, wave a few pledge cards around and so on. Before the formal session began quite a few people approached him for a chat, maybe an autograph. I didn't, because I don't didn't approach celebs for autographs, not in those days. A woman returned to her seat behind me and was literally trembling and stammering at how she had met him, he's gorgeous, etc. Alarm bells began to ring.
A year or two later I was at Local Government Conference and I happened to fall into conversation with John Prescott,, just an exchange of pleasantries, as one does as one crosses the road. I can't say I fell for him or whatever, but in an entirely objective way I could understand why my friend X and the mystery woman from Vale of York CLP were so smitten. Not my type. End of story.
Time went by and Prescott became Deputy Prime Minister. One evening, in a restaurant with a group of people conversation drifted to the subject of Cabinet Ministers having affairs. I don't recall now the exact thrust: perhaps some tipsy silliness about which one you'd shag, or maybe opening a book on who would be the first (or, rather the first after Robin Cook) to be found out.
I mentioned John Prescott's name in a jokey way, perhaps "I wouldn't have him..." and one of the group, ϑ* went a very bright shade of red, wriggled uncomfortably, tried unsuccessfully to change the subject and made a strategic dash for the Ladies. Some months later, conversation was about marital fidelity/infidelity in a very abstract sense, and ϑ was fairly candid that she had had an affair with a married man she had met through work, but it was long finished.
A few times today I have commented "Shock! Horror! Alpha Male has extra-marital affair!" and people have said "John Prescott? Alpha Male?" to which I have replied "Duh! He is the Deputy Prime Minister".
A few weeks ago there was a Jag parked near my office with a registration made up of two numbers and then three letters - DPM. I wondered if it was his.
* this is so top-secret a mere initial is not enough
