I have just discovered Bravissimo, 'the company that is committed to celebrating your curves'.
It wasn't so long ago that the idea of any woman above a 36C wanting sexy underwear was greeted with horror by some high street stores. Some moronic suburban slapper in M&S in Croydon actually told me 'there's no call for it'. A letter to M&S Head Office generated what was tantamount to a 'fuck-off' letter.
Five years ago I noticed a big sign in Knickerbox's window saying they now went up to EE cup, so I went inside and discovered that their D, DD, E, EE did not come in any size bigger than 36. The anorexic Kensington-clone informed me that women over that size didn't want Knickerbox's product.
I don't know what planet those shop assistants come from, but they seem to have been brainwashed into thinking that higher numbers are equal to 'frumpy'. Even in Richards Shop in Streatham, the assistant who I always found helpful and sensible once said "You don't look like a size 18." I patiently pointed out that a) the tape measure doesn't lie, and, b) I could fit into a 16 but why should I when I wanted to look good. What she actually meant was - 'consensus is that 18 is Fat, you're not Fat, you look good. therefore you can't be 18.'
I'm plump. I have boobs and hips and a waistline. Woman shaped. In my view, there are a few rules to looking good - not that I always follow them, of course.
- Decent haircut; if dyed, get it done professionally.
- Polished shoes (that's where I often fail)
- Minimalism in jewelery. I wear ring, watch and ear-rings. On special occasions I wear my great-grandmother's pendant.
- Minimalism in make-up. I generally don't wear make-up. As the year's advance I see a greater 'need' for foundation. When I'm 'going out' I wear foundation, lipstick, eyeliner and mascara. Occasionally nail varnish.
- Manicure (I fail abysmally) - nails should be short and rounded and painted in a muted colour. I bit my nails and rarely varnish them.
- If you follow those rules, most of the rest are of less importance.
- Wear clothes that fit - if you want to look fat, wear a size (or more) too small that shows rolls of fat poking out.
- Go easy on the patterns - I don't have very many patterned clothes. Those that are small and repeating. Never mix two patterns.
- Understand what colours suit you. Or rather, what strength of colour. I look washed out in pastels. Fuschia, electric blue, and crimson are me.
- If in doubt, wear navy or black. Beige is often a good bet, but only with other, strong colours.
- Most important of all, is posture and deportment. African colleagues are amused at the way I carry a ream of paper on my head. Have you ever seen an African woman slouching?
Has anybody ever used Bravissimo? Any comments on their quality/service?
