Gertsamtkunstwerk

Olympian reflections

I enjoyed watching the very many hours of Olympic coverage I consumed from my sofa. It was entertaining. That's why I enjoyed it.

I have several observations to make, some of them in response to criticisms I have read elsewhere or heard in conversation.

A lot of people object to the sheer amount of coverage of the Olympics, contrasting it with other forms of entertainment - eg how few Proms are televised, particularly on terrestrial TV. I agree. Although I don't actually object to the Olympics, at other times of the year there are hours of sports which attract tiny audiences of devotees, bolstered by those who will watch whatever's on. The use of the red button and the ability to choose from a menu of options  is a really good demonstration that the technology exists to offer a much wider selection of entertainment than is currently available. It shouldn't be that difficult to stream all the Proms that way, especially if they cut out the talking heads and the attempts to be just like Match of the Day Live.

Jingoist patriotism and nationalism is the last bastion of the scoundrel. To support an individual or a team just because they were born within the same arbitrary borders is irrational. I agree - up to a point. I think there is a natural human instinct to take sides in anything competitive. There are people who bet on the outcome of two beetles crawling across the ground. Tribal loyalty is not dissimilar to community solidarity. It's important to belong. But it's not good to think oneself superior. That there is a nasty violent  side to nationalism doesn't mean that supporting one's team is equally bad, no more than the horror of rape makes loving or fun sex bad. And I would far rather get patriotic about people competing for medals than people killing non-combatants in a foreign field like Iraq or Afghanistan.

It isn't right to make such a big deal out of people who are good at sport. Not everyone can be, and it isn't fair to those who aren't. Why is sport treated as so much more important than other fields of endeavour?

I find that a more difficult one to answer. On a simple level, I would far rather celebrate the success of people like Chris Hoy, Ben Ainslie, Bradley Wiggins and Rebecca Adlington than the vacuous celebs that appear on the front of magazines. Those four, and all the others from wherever and those that didn't make it, work hard.  They don't have it handed to them on a plate. They demonstrate that success can only really come from single-minded determination. I have more respect for the little finger (or thighs, in the case of the Real McHoy...) of one of them than for all the lazy self-centred talented nobody wannabes who just want 'to be famous' . It's so easy to criticise young people for being all sorts of negative things, but you can't say that about Tom Daley nor about Peter Moore, Young Musician of the Year, who was interviewed on the Handover party thing. (And I doubt either will have any problem getting laid when they pass sixteen).

I don't like the focus in schools on excellence. A lot of people have bad memories of PE teachers who were bullies. The PE teachers at my school were without exception amongst the most decent non-bullying teachers or people one could meet. But they were a product of their training and their time, when the emphasis was on the school teams and maybe the Borough/County, to the detriment of fitness and general exercise for the majority. Schools should concentrate on sports that everyone can benefit from, introducing kids to new activities. They should identify those with exceptional promise and  refer them to specialist coaches and organisations to be trained to national and international excellence.  Most of our gold medals - the 'sitting down' ones  - were won in sports that most schools don't or can't teach. Nicole Cooke was superb in Beijing and even better at Heathrow when she eloquently argued that cycling must become part of everybody's lives - more children should cycle to school, adults to work, there should be more cycle lanes,it's good for obesity, for transport and for the environment.

So many people argue that 'Athletics' is the only Olympic sport that matters ultimately. As far as the media, I guess that is probably true. This is partly because it's so big in the USA, and a large part of income for the Olympics comes from the USA - their TV company pays nearly half the total of TV rights and many of the major sponsors are US-based corporations.

Additionally and conversely, athletics is an area where competitors from poor countries can shine. Jamaica's gold medals, its 1-2-3 (or strictly speaking 1-2-2) in the women's sprint was an amazing achievement for a small island. I can't envisage them ever featuring in many, if any, of the sitting down sports, because of the sheer cost at entry level.  Yet, in a sophisticated and prosperous country like Britain, Athletics is a tiny minority sport. I know plenty of people who run marathons and/or cross country but I don't think any of them do track. Who in their right mind wants to throw a javelin or a discus past the age of about 15.

Yet so many people participate in swimming and cycling, not especially for competitive reasons. I accept that if you're really poor, swimming baths admission or a bicycle is prohibitively expensive, but for the vast majority with some disposable income, the costs are pretty trivial. Obviously yachting and rowing appear more exclusive but I have known so many people over the years who are not startlingly rich who have taken advantage of living near the Rivers Thames or Trent or the Bridgewater canal, or near the coast or Sale Water Park to mess about in rowing boats or sailing dinghies. It's caricatured by the media as being elitist, for posh people, much like skiing and scuba-diving used to be. But we'll always be rubbish at skiing because of the climate yet as a nation we luxuriate in locations for boating.

I hope that the successful TeamGB will provide an inspiration to all, but especially to children and to policy makers. I was quite gob-smacked as one after the other Tory politicians - Moynihan, Coe,  Johnson -  trumpeted the success of public funding for the competitors. Then John Major had the gall to take the credit. Sure, he set up the Lottery, but he still didn't get it - the Tories insisted that all this lottery money went on buildings, for Sport or for the Arts. Neither Major nor his predecessor lent any support when Manchester bid for the Olympics. After the Tories were removed from power, sports-people began to get funded, not just buildings. We wouldn't have won London 2012 if the government hadn't fully backed the bid. I doubt that we would have got it without a pan-London government of the sort Thatcher abolished and Blair re-introduced (not entirely without regrets!).One gold in Atlanta, nineteen in Beijing. 15 (plus 2 Winter)  under Thatcher, 6 under Major, 20 (plus 1 Winter) under Blair, 19 under Brown.

And did you know that Chris Hoy and Steve Redgrave share a birthday? As does Joe Calzaghe - reigning BBC Sports Personality of the Year. March 23. I don't suppose that statistically it's particularly freakish, but it seems that way...

My Olympic Dream

Back in 1996 I was sitting just about where I am now, in front of the TV. I was watching the weight-lifting, which is my guilty pleasure spectator sport. Just as a throwaway, the commentator mentioned that women's weight-lifting would be introduced in Sydney in 2000. Remember, this was Atlanta. The official nadir of British Olympics, at least in my lifetime, with the only gold coming from the then Messrs Redgrave and Pinsent- the occasion when Steve said

If anyone ever sees me in a boat again they have my permission to shoot me

At the time I was reasonably fit. I swam regularly and occasionally worked out. It was less than a year since I had abandoned my short-lived jogging attempts. At 28 I was not past it, although, let's be honest past my best. I had long realised that I would never be fast or high. Hitting balls have never been my forte - diagnosis-by-internet of dispraxia. But I am physically quite strong, and enjoy muscle-building exercise.

I had an idea. I figured that, with four years of training, it would be wonderful to make Team GB for Sydney. The way I saw it, it was a brand new sport, all-comers welcome. I felt that relative age was not necessarily a disadvantage. For a few moments I dreamt about it. I thought I could do gym work before and after work, a bit of swimming. and, frankly, carrying round audit files is pretty good weight-training.

I went out to make a cup of tea and I thought more about it. I was working full-time. I was a Lambeth  councillor, looking forward to re-election. My timetable was pretty full. Then I thought about the fact that I would have to get up early in the morning. I thought about other drawbacks. I realised that my Performance Report in the Evil Audit Empire would question my 'commitment'  - one of the so-called core competencies, at least in those days. Then I thought, there's no point doing it if  I won't win Gold. None of this ridiculous 'it's the taking part that matters'. I realised that that was very un-British of me, not wanting to be a plucky loser. I realise now, of course, that my attitude was the right one.

But for the rest of my life, I will wonder what would have happened if I had pursued my Olympic dream...

Still, I have some London 2012 work scheduled, which is going to make me feel part of it...

Olympic Gold Rush

I have spent the past few days more or less permanently in front of the TV. I exaggerate. Slightly. Multi-tasking, of course. I've never been one for staring idly at a TV screen.

But I haven't been blogging. It's been tempting. Oh.my.god. It's another Gold! Gold! Press the Red Button. Gold! Sit down, it's a Gold v Silver race. You missed a bronze while you were out. In men's gymnastics.

I was actually thinking of complaining to the BBC that they were only showing the Track Cycling Events where Team GB was medalling - or had a gold medallist riding for fun. Then the penny dropped...they had no choice! Team GB are so unbelievably good at cycling we've even got rowers winning cycling gold medals.

Actually, the recent history of GB cycling is a really good case study in Programme Management which has to be copied across other sports, and has some relevance and applicability to other spheres

How GB cycling went from tragic to magic.

I had a bit of fun at work today. Walking past people who were standing in front of TVs watching the replay of some or other aspect of the Olympic Action. Twice I caused laughter by saying "It's just another gold; how boring...". Although as someone remarked, why is there never an Aussie around when you want one. I suppose the Aussie's have a point that most of our medals were won by sitting down. But that has to be better than winning them by lying down and floating...! It was amazing one morning, I got up, went downstairs, switched on the TV (I never do that) and heard the National Anthem. Regular readers will know how much I hate the National Anthem, for several reasons, but on this one occasion, I was rather delighted to hear it.

I haven't watched so much Olympic Action since Moscow 1980. I am such a fan of the BBC interactive service - whatever time of day, just press the Red Button and choose one of six different streams. I have been swimming regularly - please note that this dates from before the Olympics. I also covet a bike and am pretty sure now what I want. That one specially made for 5'2" Emma Pooley, like I still want Dame Ellen's yacht specially made for her being 5'2". Trouble is, I have a bad knee. I have done diagnosis by internet - it seems to be Runner's Knee, which is supremely ironic. I am going for an X-Ray on Thursday. Jimmy won't let me buy a bike until I have a knee diagnosis. A colleague suggested I get a rowing machine instead - switch sports...I think I shall seek advice from Dr Little-Brother, a cycling enthusiastic.

I have a lot more to write about the Olympics. The political and social implications of it; my own Olympic dreams (short-lived and regretted!). And then, of course, the Closing Ceremony, to which I am greatly looking forward. I am not sure what I savour more: Plácido Domingo singing, or Boris Johnson tripping over the flag and self-immolating on the Olympic Flame.

The value of Gold

I am totally hooked on the Olympics. Well, not yesterday, when I was at work and had to suffice with the hour-long highlights show, nor today nor tomorrow, I suppose. But on Saturday-Monday, I made full use of the interactive service 'Red Button' to pick and choose what I wanted to see. Notably the Equestrianism, Gymnastics, Badminton, Rowing, Sailing and Cycling. Weightlifting is always fun to watch, but I just don't 'get' judo.

In many ways I object to the very long hours of coverage. Although only in principle. I object more strongly to the endless hours of snooker, darts and golf that take over TV far too frequently, at the expense of the majority of the population who simply don't care to watch any sport on the TV, or who are discerning in choosing what they watch.

When it comes to individualistic sports such as tennis, I object to the rah-rah-rah nationalism. When I was young it was okay to like Nastase, McEnroe, Becker, Cash, Agassi, and, of course, my all-time favourite Navratilova, and no-one gave a stuff about their nationality. I abandoned tennis for a long time, partly because of the sheer boredom exemplified by Sampras but mainly because of the tedious nationalistic fervour behind the not-very-good Henman. I got back into it this year, delighted by the top two men (Nadal and Federer),  and utterly engrossed in the final. I speak of course of Wimbledon, which gets blanket TV coverage, whilst all other tournaments are more-or-less ignored.

I delighted in watching the execrable Andy Murray lose on Monday to an unknown Taiwanese. I dislike Murray. I think he's a spoilt brat who seems to believe the world owes him a living. His attitude problem was very evident on court on Monday. It sticks in my gullet that his anti-Englishness should be ignored by the morons in the media less interested in sporting excellence than in flag-waving.

Something that has bugged me for several years and now has become a big problem for me is the fiction that all Gold Medals are equal. I suppose it's come to a head because of that swimmer who wants eight golds and has five, I think, already. I don't wish to diminish his achievement, he is so obviously the best at what he does, by quite a margin. And if he achieves the Eight, it will be a remarkable achievement.

But I can't think of any other sport where it is possible to win anything like eight golds. I suppose five are possible in gymnastics. But I enjoyed the cycling road races: all those competitors really worked for their medals or merely to finish. I suppose they could double up in the time-trial, as a Marathon runner could possibly double up in a 10,000m. But then I look at sailing, where they are going day after day for a single medal, and I don't think it's logistically possible to enter more than one contest. Or the Eight in rowing, or indeed  football or hockey, which require eight (or nine) or eleven (or sixteen) individuals at the peak of fitness and ability just to score one Gold.

I'm not suggesting some ridiculous weighting of medals, for the Medals Table or for any other purpose, but when we talk about Olympic achievement I don't think it's fair to imply that someone who can pick up Eight Golds in as many days, sometimes two in one day, is, ergo, better than someone who takes several days, or several unbroken hours, to win their one. Greatest Athlete of All Time - I remain to be convinced.

One of the reasons why I am quite relaxed about the coverage is that I find it refreshing to see these sports-people, especially in 'minority' sports, who are essentially dull but perfectly normal. I accept that in order to achieve that sporting excellence they have to sacrifice building a personality...that tends to come later.

But what a refreshing change to see genuine pleasure at reaping the rewards of years of hard work, and talent. So different from these ghastly Reality Shows, or these pointless pretend Clebs, obsessed by their appearances and their ridiculous diets. Outside of gymnastics, are any competitors as thin as the narcissists that adorn the glossy mags? Even the gymnasts appear these days to have gone through puberty.

Another thing I find exciting is the future. So often over the years, when Team GB has disappointed, the commentators have fallen back on 'building for the future'. I have long become tired of that, because as some rise, others ebb. But,for the first time, I can believe 'better next time'.

This year is about preparing for London 2012. So much investment is going into developing sports people to excel in four years time. The more Team GB achieves now, and in four years time, the more delighted I will be.

Not out of some jingoistic notion where people randomly born in one country are 'better' than those randomly assigned to others, but as demonstration that the more the State invests in developing talent, in an intensive and properly managed way, the greater the rewards. It will be a kick in the teeth for those who want Government to 'do-nothing' or who decry the 'Nanny State'. Australia in 2000 and subsequently, China now, and hopefully the UK in 2012 will demonstrate the very real benefits of State Intervention.

Rugby - pah...

I don't think anybody believed that England would get to the Final. It has been nice for a week to dream and hope against all logic and expectation that we might even win it ugly. The record books say we didn't and that's okay. South Africa were the better team throughout the tournament, and during the match. I'm sure people are debating the try that never was, and will until cows come home, but the result is what it is. Well done South Africa!, who've got a much much better National Anthem than England's so-called National (but not really) anthem.

Update Nah, I don't like being sporting and a fair loser and all that. We wuz robbed. Aussie Television Match Official was biased against us - biased, I say. You Saffir Boys were lucky.

There, I feel a lot more quintessentially English now.

Tonight...

I shall be getting very drunk and shouting as fifteen rugger buggers hunker down in my living room. I predict we will get a thrashing to nothing by the Springboks, but for now, it's time to dream...

Go Johnny Go Once more into the breach bring me my bow of burning gold etc

Blimey

England in the World Cup Final!

Who would have believed it!!!

Fair weather fan, me :-)

Johnny Johnny Johnny

England pick Wilkinson & Farrell

Jonny Wilkinson and Andy Farrell have both been named in Brian Ashton's England team to face Scotland in the Six Nations at Twickenham on Saturday. Fly-half Wilkinson has not played for England since the 2003 World Cup final because of injuries, and has only played 40 minutes in the last 12 weeks.

It will be worth switching the TV on just to see and hear the crowd reaction if he does run out of the tunnel at Twickers

And it's gold for Great Britain!

Winter Olympics | GB curlers awarded belated gold

Let's see how many more we win.

My prediction - one bronze...

Four helicopters?

Spied through a narrow gap in the buildings during a very quick smokebreak.

One hovering, one cruising in narrow circles, one higher and wider in its circling, and one taking off.

I understand that something's going on down in Trafalgar Square

I have spent twenty-five years studiously - and extremely knowledgably - eschewing cricket. It is now as much a matter of principle as anything. Why is it that people keep asking me whether I'm going to Trafalgar Sqaure? I'm a football fan and I like rugby. I understand cricket. But I am not going to Trafalgar Square.

OMG! Hoggy, Hoggy, Hoggy

Cricket is, like, so cooool!!!! (GO ENGLAND!!! 2-1)

Yeah, I never really liked it before because it was, like, really boring. But you know, I've been watching it and it's really sexy. Wooo!!. I’m getting to understand cricket now better thanks to my mate.

Suddenly this is a game with US-style swagger and pizazz, with athletic stars sporting colored clothing, dyed hair, and diamond stud earrings.

It's like Reality Tv, really, like, you watch it and you don't know what's going to happen.

Annoying though, that Channel 4 cancelled tonight's showing of 'Lost' at 6:30pm because the cricket over-ran. I mean what's that about, hur? Although the cricket has been very good, I must say. Quite edge-of-your-seat. Not that anybody who reads this cares, but England might win the Ashes back from Australia for the first time in a long time.

I currently have a pleasant little crush on Michael Vaughan, the England cricket captain. But I could only watch the last few hours of the Test today in three minute bursts because it was too nail-bitingly tense

And... *looks around furtively*... I actually enjoyed it a little bit. I'd flicked over the channels just as the Aussies were bowled out and thought I'd watch a bit to see if I could work out what was what - cricket always seemed so complicated to me...

Who'd have thought I'd have a feeling of dread every time Shane Warne stepped up to bowl? Who'd have thought I'd even know who Shane Warne was?? Anyway, hurrah for the English lads - let's go all the way!

Cricket should adopt the slogan Eastenders had a few years ago - everyone's talking about it.

It's like where it's at, y'know real cool and stuff. I'm definitely a cricket fan now. Someone told me that, apparently, Australia are really good, so the fact that England is beating them is, like, WOOT. and there's another match to come, at The OVal, which is right by Oval Tube, apparently, just a bus ride from here. I might go. Cos I'm so into cricket now. It'd be cool. And hopefully David Beckham will be playing in that match. He must be injured or something.

Bollocks

Rugby Fan Cuts Off Own Testicles

A Welsh rugby fan chopped off his testicles after his country's epic victory over England.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would triumph he told friends at a social club: "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off."...Police said Geoff had a history of mental problems.

I can think of fifteen more deserving targets...

Arise, Dame Ellen

Britain welcomes Dame Ellen home

Maybe it's just because I'm getting old, but it seems somewhat strange to have a Dame of the Realm who looks like she's been bunking off Sixth Form.

I could sail that boat, you know. Well, I couldn't actually, but it's specially built for my height!

Nearly there

MacArthur closing on world record

I think it's dead brave of her to have bought her boat at B&Q. I don't think they sell them at my local branch, but that's quite small and on a high street. Perhaps the branches in Derbyshire have a yacht department. It sure takes some gumption to assemble a flatpack yacht. I wonder if she had enough screws, or resorted to a handy packet of woodglue found under the stairs.

Less than an hour to go

Legends of cricket?

Grace, Hobbs, Bradman, Sobers.

Does anyone else belong up there?

And as a secondary question, I assume everyone knows who those people are?

Olympic Closing Ceremony

Well, I didn't watch half as much Olympics as I thought I would. Which is interesting, I could have done, not much else going on in my sad little life. Still, interesting that when it's there, it doesn't have the draw, wheareas for the last three I resented that stuff was going on my life that stopped me having full enjoyment. Hmm. Food for thought.

That closing ceremony was just awful. Really, really bad. Jimmy and I were rolling around on the sofa in convulsions at the sheer mediocrity of the performances. He reckoned the singers (bad lip-synchers) were so bad they couldn't win the Eurovision Song Contest; moments later Barry Davies invoked the name of Terry Wogan. I have to say that Barry Davies was a star. When he made reference to the Oldest Swinger In Town, I nearly wet myself before falling off the sofa.

Just for the record, Britain finished tenth in the table, with 30 medals - 9 Gold, 9 Silver and 12 bronze.

The Golds were:
Athletics:

Kelly Holmes- Women's 1500m, Women's 800m
Jason Gardener/Darren Campbell/Marlon Devonish/Mark Lewis-Francis - Men's 4x100m relay

Cycling

Bradley Wiggins - Men's individual pursuit
Chris Hoy - Men's 1 km time trial
Leslie Law - Equestrian Eventing individual

Rowing

Steve Williams/James Cracknell/Ed Coode/Matthew Pinsent - Men's coxless four

Sailing

Shirley Robertson/Sarah Webb/Sarah Ayton - Women's Yngling
Ben Ainslie - Men's Finn

So, Sports Personality of the Year goes to Kelly Holmes. Has to go to Kelly Holmes. But Bradley Wiggins, and, of course, (Sir) Matthew Pinsent have to get special hon menshes.

And congratualtions to all the winners.

Poor Paula

It's so funny; I've been to a Prom, he spent eight hours in the pub. He's just got home, and I have managed to film him for three minutes talking about how much he loves Paula, how Paula's his girl, and I've got to put it on the internet, that he loves Paula...

He loves me, too. I'm stone cold sober. Tonight's vintage of Vin de Pis de Chateau d'Albert Hall was just beyond drinkable.

I'm now going to do Carmen's Dance of the Seven Veils...

Bradley Wiggins, we salute you

Three medals he's got - Bradley took bronze in the 50km madison sprint, adding to his gold in the individual pursuit and a silver in the team event.

The first of yesterday's golds...

'Testosterone oozed from the screen' Spot on comment, I reckon.

Although, has anybody dared to ask...what sort of name is Croude for a kid?

Will yesterday go down as one of the Great Days of Brit sport - two sailing, one rowing and one cycling gold, as well as the Equestrian belatedly. And England destroying the Windies with over two days to go...

Amazingly, we have more medals that at this stage of Sydney. Our hockey boys seem to be collapsing in ignominy, though.

Coxless 4 Gold

Fourth gold for Pinsent

That is no mean achievement, 4 consecutive golds. I was half expecting him to say "If anybody sees me get into a boat again they have my permission to shoot me."

And James Cracknell now has two in consecutive Olympics.

Steve Redgrave commented that he is no longer a reigning Olympic Champion and that it's been a few years since he's been able to say that. Last time, I was on holiday in Devon following O-Levels. George Michael's Careless Whisper was number one.

Some of you weren't even born...

Olympics Open

I watched the entire opening ceremony except for popping out to get dinner out of the oven, missing a few of the teams parade by eg France and Germany.

It was one spectacular show, I really enjoyed the opening tableaux and display, showcasing three thousand years of history, the highlights being the drums and the statues.

The march past of the teams was tremendous fun, trying to place the small nations on the globe before the commentators did. I thoroughly enjoyed the different displays of clothes and costumes. The one that stood out was the embroidered brocade of the flag bearer of one of the former Soviet Central Asian Republics, which was reflected in the tops worn by the women. The Japenese use of pastels, especially the green and pink fans elicited paraise chez Gert. It was fascinating noting which teams got the biggest cheers. To some extent it reflected the number of spectators in the stadium from that country - the wealthy and poulous nations of Europe, Australia, USA, Japan. I enjoyed the looks of pride and nerves, excitement and joy on the faces of the competitors.

And I so loved the hats that so many of the men wore, so stylish, and so Thirties in their styling.

Now, let the ganes commence. I know, I know, they actually began on Wednesday.

I think GB will end up with very few medals - it will be a come down from Sydney.

I am particularly looking forward to Equestrian, Fencing, Gymnastics, Hockey and Weighlifting, as well as Synchronised Swimming and Synchronised Diving...

Olympic Opening Ceremony

As you know, the participating nations enter the stadium in alphabetical order. Thus Britain enters just after Mauritania and just before Mexico.

Whiplashed cricketer

Those of you who follow cricket will know that Mark Butcher is suffering from whiplash. How did he do it? Well, he was driving along Brixton Hill. So was Jimmy's niece's partner's brother, whose mobile went off, so he reached to pick it up, took his eye off the road, and drove into the back of Mark Butcher's car.

Lawrence, Jimmy's brother, has had to endure years of ribbing from fans of West Indies cricket, so he's now having a field day winding up the uncle of his future grandchild up about West Indies sabotag eof English cricket.

Although he knows full well that English cricket needs no assistance in destruction!

London Marathon

Anyone got any suggestions on where is a good place to get a good vantage point.

If you don't want to reveal a secret to the great internet public, send me an email!

Close...!

England once again had me biting my finger nails on the edge of my seat as Dallaglio leads from the front as England snuff out plucky Wales.

And I named Ben Cohen man-of-the-match before the commentators did.

PS I really like the way the BBC commentators are doing the Six Nations - laid back and laced with irony. A few degrees of magnitude preferable to Sky Sports hype hype hype of even the most inconsequential of football league games.

This Sporting Life

I don't know why, but it seems impossible for all matches to go the way you want. Swings and roundabouts, rough with the smooth, some you win, some you lose.

Frankly, Manchester United have been dire throughout February. Hopefully, we are now beginning a long March to glory. But forgive me if I show little faith. Nevertheless, it is nice that we beat Fulham on Saturday. And nice that we are in our first FA Cup Semi Final of the century/millennium. I have no memory of United ever losing an FA Cup Semi Final, and memories of glory days in (can I do this entirely from memory...?) 1976, 1977, 1979, 1983, 1985, 1990, 1994, 1995, 1996, and 1999. And we won seven out of ten of those finals, which is no bad thing. Say what you like, the FA Cup is past its glory days. But, hey, what memories of Cup Final weekends, culminating in watching the boys in their open top bus parade down Washway Road in Sale.

And looking at the semi final line-up, you have the two biggest clubs in the Premiership, alongside a First Division Team and a replay scheduled bringing D1 against D2. Pretty glamorous, I reckon. All that remains to be seen is how the FA fix the draw - to have the United-Arse showdown in the semis, or hope that this will be the final. Maybe there's an advantage in going for the United-Sunderland (Northern) semi, with them banking on Millwall meeting Arsenal in the London semi.

We shall see.

As for England Rugby. What a load of rubbish. Losing to Ireland. At Twickers. Terrible. And let's face it, they played badly - all those line-outs they lost. Plus, considering they had two tries disallowed by the fourth official, and another one where the Irish defender just got to the ball more quickly.

Jimmy, who spent the weekend suffering with a heavy cold, decided to watch it indoors with his father. His Irish father. His unrepentantly patriotic Irish father. Who now believes that Ireland is the best team in the world, and England only won the World Cup by mistake.

Let's just hope that we beat Wales. And France. It's one thing beating Italy and Scotland, who are competing for the wooden spoon. But France ought to be our only rivals for Northern Hemisphere superiority, and Wales appear to be rapidly improving.

*Sigh*

What have I been doing with my life?

Cocooning, I guess is the word.

Watching an awful lot of TV. Everything from the Scotland-England rugby match (yay!) to the Porto-Manchester United match (no!).

Being depressed and that, I thought it would be a really fab idea to while away my hours watching total tear-jerkers such as Otello and La Traviata. In fact, on Friday night I put on my DVD of Otello that Mummy got me for Xmas. I said to Jimmy, 'If you don't like this, say so,' and he later said that he thought he would try for twenty minutes, and ended up thoroughly enjoying the whole two and a quarter hours.

Then yesterday we watched The Sound of Music, which, unbelievably, he has never seen before. And yes, although I have seen it thirty zillion times, I cried. Oh, and on Saturday we watched Hope Springs, which was enjoyable and probably worth ££3.75 from Sky Box Office, although wouldn't have been worth £20+ in the West End.

And I am simply not discussing the fact that it appears that Manchester United appear to have thrown away all hopes of the Championship - February seems to have been the longest month to watch one's favourite football club slowly imploding.

Paris-Dakar

Slowly seeping into my imagination is the Paris-Dakar Rally. Not that I'm turning into a petrol head or anything (heaven forfend...) but it's intrepid and romantic.

Update: This weekend's stages in Mali have been cancelled due to security reasons, which is a crying shame. Huh, just as I'm getting into it.

Tennis shock

I see that Canada's leading tennis player has failed drugs test

Well, no one can accuse him of taking performance-enhancing drugs.

Ker boooooom tish

The elusiveness of absolute fame

I had a bizzare conversation today. Apropos of some silliness about asterisks and stars someone said, "Everybody wants to be famous..." slightly disapprovingly - in much the same way that I disapprove of Fame Idol people who winge "I just want to be famous!"

Hm, I said, not quite everybody. I recalled in my mind a conversation earlier in the day about Chris Martin of Coldplay and how he really doesn't want to be famous, despite having just married Gwyneth Paltrow. But instead of Chris Martin, I mentioned Jonny Wilkinson.

"Who is he?" asked my interlocutor.

"He's a rugby player," I explained, with a hint of 'Duh!' in my voice.

"Is he famous?" I was asked. I explained that he is, yes, sort of, and quickly reeled off a week in the life of. Oh heck the Beeb has done it much better. I like the bit "at least Sir Steve was up there as well to help me through it", because last night I was shouting at the TV (I was quite drunk you know, there's far too much booze in this cottage) - go on Steve, have a word, tell him it eases off, tell him it's possible to live a normal life, tell him he doesn't have to be David Beckham.

Still, I wonder about people who really don't have a clue what's in the news outside of the big serious stories. Admittedly, we all have areas that don't interest us, but when something's news, it's news. Or maybe I'm just a news junkie.

Okay, I'll admit it. I am a bit obsessed by Jonny. But only slightly, and in a very detached "isn't it interesting when you can watch someone's life change before your eyes?" way.

(For those of you outside England and Australia, Jonny Wilkinson is the England fly-half who, twenty seconds from the end of extra time in the World Cup Final when Australia nd England were drawing 17-17, dropped the goal that won the World Cup. If you had tried to write it as fiction you couldn't have bettered it - especially as Australia had equalised in the dying seconds of full time. )

I'm not sure I have actually mentioned on this blog that England won the Rugby World Cup