On Monday I ordered some goods online. It was only after completing the transaction I thought that it would almost certainly be delivered while I was out. Sure enough, when I got home on Wednesday, there was the familiar Royal Mail P739 on my doormat.
Moan moan, I thought, have to go all the way down the hill to the sorting office on Friday morning. Moan moan moan, have to come all the way back up the hill carrying parcel from sodding sorting office.
Thursday evening I get home and there is another card on the doormat, this time a green one, from Hermes courier. Puzzled, I couldn't remember ordering anything but the parcel that's sitting waiting for me in Brixton Delivery Office. Part of me thinks - maybe it's the prize from some or other competition I entered weeks ago. A larger part suspects it may be for one of my neighbours. I initially think the card says to call 'Mark' on Phone left blank but closer scrutiny reveals the parcel has been left in my 'Secure Front Porch'.
Strange, I think, I don't have a front porch, secure or otherwise. In any case, a porch that's open for couriers to leave parcels is by definition not secure enough to prevent nefarious parcel-stealers doing what they do.
I looked on the pathway and there was a parcel, with Hermes logo, as well as Lakeland. Lurking behind, but not really concealed by the wheelie bin. Yes, you have read that correctly. A parcel, wrapped in cardboard left on the path on a day when the rain has been fairly steady and quite heavy.
I look at the address label and see it is correctly addressed to a neighbour, Mark, at The-Cottage-in-the-Corner. Hmm, I think, it's from Lakeland (nice shop). Mark won't know it's been delivered to my path, after all, it's correctly addressed to The-Cottage-in-the-Corner, not Gert Cottage. Should I steal it?
Of course, I didn't steal it, but walked it round to my neighbour, and he thanked me - and I pointed out that they've now opened a shop in Kingston. But you know, I could have been away on holiday or anything, and poor Mark could have been waiting weeks for his kitchen equipment.
Back inside, I re-read the Royal Mail P739. Apart from the 'Has been returned to the Royal Mail Delivery Office at' almost ten minutes' walk away, the only other options are "As you requested your item has been left: In your 'Safeplace' on your property/with your designated neighbour'
See that, they don't randomly dump it on the path of a neighbouring property like Hermes do, nor deliver it to a neighbour who happens to be in, like Amazon's couriers do - could be a thieving neighbour, or one you don't wish to be under an obligation to.
No, they keep it safe in their custody unless and until you issue specific instructions otherwise. I know people - not least me - knock the Royal Mail, but sometimes, it's telling that their service is markedly better than their commercial rivals.
