If you are content with spending thousands of pounds a year on smoking, please don't read this, because I don't want to be lectury or evangelical.
If you want to carry on smoking without the expense or many of the irritating side-effects, I think this post is for you.
And also for people who think it is their right to lecture people they barely know about smoking.
Smoking isn't big or clever. We all know this and don't actually need telling. It is extremely annoying to have some stranger or indeed slight acquaintance lecture one about this. It is not unique in its impact on the lives of other people. In my experience, those that lecture the most are usually people who drive big cars, often. They generally have well-thought out arguments about why they have the absolute right to belch dirty smelly pollutants into the atmosphere. As I do when I get on a plane, or bus, or sit here lights blazing with laptop and TV on.
I used to smoke cigarettes and now I don't. And I don't see any reason why I ever will again.
This blogpost may end up being merely a bagful of praise for Electronic Cigarettes which have changed my life.
I don't want to give up nicotine. Giving up nicotine makes as much sense to me as giving up caffeine. Sure, there are disbenefits in both, but in my view they are outweighed by the benefits. Chocolate or alcohol, I can take or leave.
I had read and heard so much guff about how difficult it is to give up smoking. I have to say - that is totally rubbish. Once you have decided to do it, and decided when to do it, it's as easy as anything else you decide to do.
I felt a bit pressured into it because Jimmy gave up in April or sometime. I was beginning to freak out at the astronomical cost. I wasn't concerned about my health (so many other aspects to worry about). I wasn't frightfully concerned about the smoking ban: I just go less to pubs and restaurants as a result.
I didn't want to give up before going on holiday to Spain which has a very liberal attitude, and where I would be spending most of the time on the beach etc. I initially decided I would give up the day after I returned from holiday.
My reasoning - and you have to indulge my extreme silliness here - was twofold. This was the day of George Oik Osborne's emergency budget. I made jokes about my giving up smoking will screw up his calculations. It was also the day of the Simon Boccanegra Insight Evening, and I have stated, almost convincingly with straight face, that Plácido Domingo would be more likely to make a pass at me if I wasn't smoking. Yeah right, humour me here!
In the end I rejected that day for two good reasons. One was that England v Germany was coming up the following Sunday, and the thought of a cigarette-less penalty shoot-out was scary. Yeah , a penalty shoot-out. We'd have been so lucky. I also decided I might as well pick the optimum time in my menstrual cycle - why make things more difficult than they need be?
I made sure that I was well stocked up on supplies for the Electronic cigarette, and just before bedtime on 27 June I smoked the final cigarette in the packet, turned to the Electronic version.
And, honestly, that's all there is to say. I don't miss cigarettes one bit. There are various occasions when my instinct tells me I ought to have one in my hand - after a shower, waking up in the morning, walking at out of the Albert Hall at an interval. And that's about it. Alcohol doesn't make a difference, because I'm not relying on willpower. On those occasions I just reach for the EC and I'm sorted.
The EC is better than other nicotine replacement products because it so closely replicates the physical actions of smoking. Holding it in the hand and inhaling, even kicking back with the throat. It glows red at the end, which seems a bit silly except that the red light also warns when the battery's going or when you've been sucking just too much. It suits me especially because I tend to put a lot of things in my mouth - I suck my thumb, chew my office pass and gnaw my way through woollen gloves and cardigan cuffs.
You even get to exhale some vapour which is far more satisfying than parking a piece of nicotine chewing gum under your tongue. It disconcerts some people and I suspect was the reason for a 'Smoking is not permitted anywhere on London Underground' announcement at Brixton Tube the other day.
There are downsides to the Electronic Cigarette. It hasn't been tested to the same rigour as products that are licensed by the MHRA. I recognise that as an unquantifiable risk, but in my view an acceptable risk for any ex-smoker because of the tremendous benefits. A few times I have noticed my heartbeat racing, as if I had drunk rapidly two double espressos. This occurred during the prologue of Simon Boccanegra, so conclude what you will.
Obviously, it's not a cost-free option, but I reckon it's considerably less than a pound a day (or four cheap cigarettes). It doesn't 'cure' the nicotine addiction, although I intend to move down from my current 'super-high' to 'low' or 'zero', but over a year or two. I suppose that makes it a crutch and obviously, I'm still an 'addict'. I would imagine it's not advisable for pregnant women or people with heart conditions.
The other downside is that my sense of smell has improved. Great! So, I get to smell other people's hygiene 'issues' or KFC on a bus even if no-one's eating it. I've lost my excuse to pop outside the office or elsewhere; at work this means I have less contact with non-auditors. And sadly, George Osborne is still Chancellor hellbent on destroying the country, England didn't get reinstated in the World Cup and Plácido didn't make a pass at me.
But I get to laugh at the non-smokers who don't have a steady drip drip of soothing nicotine, and smokers who have to put up with the dry throats, coughs and burns from traditional smoking. I win!
