I have a major bugbear. I hate being patronised. It's mildly irritating when it's done by someone who genuinely knows more about the subject than I do. It is very irritating when it comes from someone who mistakes levity/humour for seriousness of intent (obviously, I do question whether my humour actually comes over as funny as I thought it did).
But what really annoys me is when somebody with very little experience where I have some experience and/or expertise takes it upon themself to tell me what to do.
And I really want to get something off my chest that has been bugging me since Election Day.
In the evening, I'm going round 'knocking up' people who have previously said they are Labour supporters. It's an age-old election day practice of all parties. The main purpose is to persuade people to actually go out and cast their vote. Like all doorstep activity, it's important not to waste arguing the toss or pushing against an immoveable object. On the other hand, it's my time freely given, and it's something I'm doing to my neighbours, people I have to live alongside on a daily basis perhaps for many years. And it's a common courtesy not to be rude.
So I knocked up a man who had actually voted whilst I was on Polling station duty in the morning. He said he had voted Labour and was by habit a Labour supporter, but he hadn't been entirely happy by some aspects of the Labour Government, for example the Iraq War. I commented that he wasn't alone. Suddenly a 'comrade', young and wet behind the ears, appeared alongside me and produced a spiel of campaigning spin, ignoring what the man had actually said, and then took me to task for expressing my personal opinions with an elector.
A bit later, we were working one road (so close to my house we're in the same Resident's Association) and some bloke - half-cut or half-deranged - starts yelling out of an upstairs window how we're bullying people to vote, we ought to be ashamed etc. This young man again tells me what to do - ignore him, which is exactly what I was doing, because, like, I have some life experience in dealing with random street ranters.
I quietly explained to the said young man that I was pretty experienced at campaigning, even though I had not been active in recent years, I had even served for eight years as a councillor, and I enjoy engaging with voters ie my neighbours person to person. To give the young chap his due, he listened and apologised, and I admire him for what he said.
But it's illustrative of a bigger point. I fully understand that teenagers know 'everything' and I make full allowance for that. But past teens, I expect people to be more circumspect and open-minded. I particularly dislike being dismissed or assumed to be ignorant.
Sometimes it happens benignly but more often it comes across as a sort of arrogance. I feel like I am being judged and diminished. It seems particularly to come from younger men. Certainly not all younger men, not by any means. I think it is a curious mixture of sexism, ageism and sizeism. I have this annoying, impossible-to-shift layer of fat and retained water round my stomach which makes me look very fat from front and side view. Particularly when tired, I show lines below my eyes and from the edge of my mouth. I'm female and not very tall, and find it difficult to wear heeled shoes for a long time.
And it annoys me like hell when young men talk to me assuming I am a complete ditz when it comes to politics and IT in particular, without having any evidence to support that.
I know we all make snap judgements based on appearance, and if it's just on a passer-by, there's no harm done. But when people make lazy assumptions it's bloody annoying. It would be arch in the extreme to say "Don't you know I have qualifications in this and experience in that?" It's like a poster I saw when I used to attend KCH Rheumatology. A picture of an elderly woman saying 'My students used to call me Professor, please don't call me 'Dear'" or some such. I'm only 42 and it's already getting to me. Can't imagine how I'll feel in 20, 30 or 40 years time.
I suppose it's an age-old cry that the young don't appreciate the wisdom of older people. No doubt I was guilty when I was younger and still am to almost half the population who are older than me. But it's incredibly important for young men to learn that 'middle-aged women' are often mentally acute, highly intelligent and very knowledgeable. When they show lack of interest in matters that are greatly important to you it might just be because they have 'been there and done it', or have different interests and priorities and are really not obliged to follow an agenda set by others.
