Oh dear.
To say it was a bit rubbish would be - about fair, I think.
It wasn't totally awful, but I'm unlikely ever to go back again, except if I was invited to join a party - if I had any influence I would try to persuade a change of venue.
There aren't many restaurants within walking distance of our office, and this just about counts as walking distance, although I went straight from home and just walked from Victoria Station.
I had been a bit anxious about it - although not in a panic attack way - trying to work out whether a Christmas meal for £38 before drink and service could possibly give value. For some bizarre reason we had opted for the Christmas special which seemed to offer a very small choice of dishes for what seemed like a lot of money.
I didn't want to push the point, because it's not difficult to rack up £38 for three proper courses a la carte in a proper restaurant, but most West End restaurants manage pre-theatre dinners for under £20, in some cases a lot under £20. And indeed, it was chosen on the basis of people who were satisfied at previous experience of two-for-one or dinner for a tenner offers. It isn't actually a chain restaurant, but service was of that style - waiters with earpieces, no personal touch, very much being on a production line.
It wasn't until we sat down that we realised that we were going to be served a range of dishes, rather than having to choose one. Which rather buggered me. I eat fish but not meat so had to go vegetarian, which, I have to say, represented one of the biggest rip-offs going.
The starters weren't bad, two tiny spring rolls and a little kebab, plus lots of stringy things and bits of chopped vegetable in a peanut sauce. Not fabulous, not awe-inspiring, but decent.
The main course was a joke. Three lumps of butternut squash in an indeterminate yellow sauce, some noodles in a spicy sauce, some rice spooned into half a red pepper, and a few tiny broccoli florets and tiny strips of red pepper. I have been to Oriental restaurants where you end up getting maybe three prawns in a bowl of noodles and sauce - and you pay about a fiver for it and it 'does' because you know what you're getting at that price. I don't like restaurants that use strongly flavoured sauces to disguise the fact that there is no flavour in the actual food - such as it is. I abandoned it after swallowing a mouthful of salt; the taste lingers on.
As for pudding - a chocolate bread and butter that just didn't work (I wasn't the only one who abandoned it) and two pieces of agar-agar, one mango which was a bit meh, and another which was half coconut and half clear. The clear was pretty horrible although the coconut was good - and about the size of a coin.
The atmosphere and service was of the sort you'd expect at Pizza Express - one long room of tables, which was far too noisy, so I couldn't hear anything that three of our party of six were saying. Okay, maybe that's to be expected at a Christmas lunch, but it wasn't as if there was any loud larey obnoxious party there.
There was nothing remarkable about the decor, and a real lack of attention to detail. Any one of the factors I would have shrugged off, but taken together added up to poor service: -my knife had a very visible splash mark on it; I ordered wine, for T, S and me, D and R ordered beer, and M a lemonade. When the waiter brought the bottle, he offered it to R to taste; R pointed out that it was the three women having wine, which non-plussed the waiter, who then moved my arm, before he said 'Excuse me can I get to your glass'. There were two wine glasses at each setting, of different sizes; he poured white wine into the larger of the two (which is no big deal but surprised me). He then said "Shall I go and get an ice bucket?" I was a bit surprised that a bottle of wine over £20 should come with a screw top, although I know of course it is a perfectly acceptable way of bottling wine. I just like the theatre of the ritual of the wine being uncorked. In fact, I like dining as theatre and theatre was badly lacking.
We had to ask three times for tap water. I normally expect tap water to be served in a jug, with ice cubes, and usually, a slice of lemon, but instead they just poured some into a wine glass each. I'm sure if we had asked, refills would have been forthcoming, but it was indicative of the production line mentality. It was clear that they didn't want people lingering to savour the meal, which is typical of chain-type restaurants.
I was a bit surprised, although completely unbothered, that although they were advertising this as a Christmas meal, at considerable premium, they made no effort to provide crackers or streamers. What was more of a surprise was that they didn't bother even throwing a coffee into the deal.
It would be unfair to say it was completely bad, and if I had been paying Pizza Express prices I would probably have accepted a lot of the shortcomings. But it's very unusual for me to be hungry five hours after finishing a three course meal. All I can say is, it would have been a better dining experience at Pizza Express. The food in the staff canteen, at less than a tenner including dodgy plonk, was much better, although being self-service there are no grounds for comparison.
Here's their website for what it's worth - full of marketing guff The Mango Tree
