He arrived with a woman just before the conductor was coming to the podium, and announced to all and sundry they had been delayed for forty five minutes because of traffic and not being able to park (no, I thought, due to inadequate planning).
I assumed the woman was a wife, girlfriend or friend, but they did not seem to acknowledge each other at all even during the pauses betweens parts or at the end. Maybe they had had a row about their inadequate planning which had meant they had arrived at the last minute and didn't have the time to buy a programme.
He rounded on me and asked me "Are you a friend of Clare and Isabel?" It sounded like accusatory; apologetically I said I didn't think I was. "We got these tickets from Clare and Isabel, they couldn't come..."
I was tempted to reply 'like I care?' but explained that I had booked a single ticket, it isn't necessary to book the whole box. He looked thrown: I suspect he had been imagining that he could swank it up in a box with swanky friends of Clare and Isabel, and didn't like having to share air space with some Untouchable who had had no trouble parking, nor any delays.
At the end, rather than turning to his wife/girlfriend/escort, he turned to me and asked "Did you enjoy the concert?"
To which I replied icily "I don't see why you are suddenly being so smarmy when you spent the entire concert fidgeting around"
"I get cramp in my knee!" he bleated.
I had all sorts of replies lined up eg
'why is that you tall people have to moan and whine on the few occasions that favour short people but have no sympathy for short people on the numerous other occasions'
or
'If you have a knee injury which makes it impossible to sit still for two minutes, you probably shouldn't have committed to sitting still for two hours"
Instead I just said I would have enjoyed it a lot more if he hadn't been such a distraction, and walked out.
It wasn't really that he was fidgety. I think I could have taken fidgety. The problem was that he was a jerk.
Every couple of minutes he would violently move forward in his chair, or move violently backward.
It was a subtle, gentle or gradual movement, but a really quite violent shove, and each time I experienced a slight startle, each time increasing my pulse rate/blood pressure; each time they returned to resting, he jerked again.
He spent probably about a third of the time sitting skewiff in his chair, encroaching on my personal space.
I don't have unreasonable expectations of my neighbours at concerts, but I do think there is a basic level of consideration we all owe to others in public spaces.
Contrast the group I shared my box with on Tuesday night. A woman next to me, in front of me two men one she described as her nephew, the other was probably her brother (in-law?) or husband.
Before the performance began I managed to kick my water bottle so it rolled down the step to the front row. The nephew picked it up for me but glared at me, as I was apologising. Meekly I said "Hopefully, having done it now, I won't do it during the proceedings..." and placed it in a different place out of reach of being kicked. All three visibly de-tensed, optimistic that I knew The Rules.
I barely noticed them during the first half. From time to time, binoculars or water passed between the woman and one or other of the men, but it barely grazed my consciousness.
We were chatting in the interval, the woman said she might get cramp, so I wasn't to be alarmed if she suddenly stood up. She didn't, as it happened, but I smiled sweetly and murmured something about it being a long time sitting. I expect they coughed from time to time, I can't say I noticed.
The woman in the box to my left fanned herself with her programme, I noticed but only in passing.
When we go out in public, we have to expect to encounter other members of the public, who have as much right to do what they wish as I do - but no more. The vast majority of people in any public space have a grasp of The Rules, and an instinctive understanding what they do may impact on others, and act accordingly, with consideration.
What you do notice is people who really should 'get out more'. It seems that being in a public space is such a novelty they can't really negotiate it. Or else they assume the world revolves around them, that they have an unfettered right to be or do precisely what they wish. Sometimes I wonder if I am over-sensitive, but there is plenty of evidence that I am far alone. For example, this evening a woman was standing in the bus shelter. Another woman walked past her; although she had plenty of space to walk past without touching, nevertheless she used her handbag to shove the handbag of the first woman. Not quite 'violently' but not far off it. I saw Woman #1's face turn to fury and she marched after Woman #2 calling 'Excuse me! Excuse me!' I was sorry she didn't catch up, because I would have been cheering her on (maybe silently!)
On the bus going home was a party being very noisy. I didn't realise until they got off that the oldest was probably only mid-teens, from a distance he looked well into his twenties. They were just being annoyingly loud, no more, but no less.
The woman behind me was on the phone. She was talking quietly, perfectly civilised. As far as I could gather she was making suggestions for someone who hadn't yet received the details for an interview on Friday. At one point, she said irritatedly "Yes. I'm on the bus." Pause. "Some arseholes shouting...I'll call you in a few minutes..."
