I was at a speed-dating evening and so was Adrian Sevitz.
We were segregated by age range, so I, being a forty-something woman had to speed-date 20-something men...which makes so much sense...
I was on the Tube last week and I saw a number of 20-something men. Perfectly pleasant, I'm sure, probably with a good mix of positive personal qualities. Interesting, maybe. Demons in bed, even. I looked at them and thought 'you might be nice guys but you're so unattractive'. It's not just the sideburns and the clothes that look like they've slept in them - I believe that's currently fashionable with the young set - it's the fact that they're so young, so lacking in self-confidence (the one that comes from within), and so anxious. They're simply not attractive.
Adrian was in a different group, a different Speed-Date Circuit, the one where thirty-something men get to speed date thirty-something women.
I spread the word round that he was a llama farmer from Peru. Not in order to stymie his chances, but because I honestly believed he was, and I thought it would help him if people knew the truth.
But there was a bee buzzing outside my bedroom window which woke me up. Only slowly, so I thought I was still in the speed-dating and I could actually hear myself snoring, out of the front of my mouth*. Then I heard an alarm clock go off. It was coming form one of the houses at the back, who also had their bedroom window open. I looked at my clock, 5.45 am. I knew I had an hour and a half more in bed.
* how gross is that?
