My advice is Don't Go
If however, you have children of Infant School age who spend most of their time cooped up in a large car and you regard any open, ironically car-free space, such as formal gardens, as being the place for your children to let off excess energy, then Hever Castle is definitely the place for you.
In fairness, the gardens are quite nice, but I don't think they are worth travelling to, especially not in preference to the numerous other gardens in southern England.
But its faults are many. I had been warned that it is commercialised, but not as much as Leeds Castle. Therefore, Leeds Castle is a complete no-no for me.
.
Firstly, it isn't a castle, but is a fortified manor house. Despite its historic origins, it is mainly the product of a massive 20th century refurbishment.
They make great store of it being the childhood home of Anne Boleyn, no doubt wishing to cash in on the TV series 'The Tudors' and the book/film 'The Other Boleyn Girl'. So, they laid on some entertainment for 'Henry VIII' despite the fact that neither the series nor the book mention Henry actually visiting Hever. I doubt very much that, if he had, he and Anne Boleyn would have been sitting on chairs in the open field within touching distance of mere groundlings - I am certain they would have been ensconced within lavish tents, with dozens of flunkies and servants.
It's pretty obvious that they are only interested in visitors who arrive by car. Their website says it is a country mile from Hever station, and then leaves it to us to figure out which route to take. There are at least three, one along narrow windy undulating roads with no verges where cars thunder round bends at great speed. We thought there were no signposts, but on the way back we spotted the hints of one entirely overgrown by hedgerow. Alternatively, they say you can get a taxi from Edenbridge, but leave it up in the air whether you can get one to return. We asked for a number for a cab firm at the Henry VIII pub; we were given the number of an elderly lady's house and she gave us an alternative number, which just rang and rang.
It is a another example of how people only matter in respect of their relationship to children. The person hosting the entertainment addressed the crowd as "Boys and Girls, Mums and Dads, Grandmas and Grandads." No such thing as "Ladies and gentlemen...". No doubt there is some sound marketing reason for targeting the 5-11 demograph, but I really think if you haven't got one of those in your entourage it's a waste of time going. Unless, of course, you want to observe the bad parenting of the Yummy-Mummy Brigade.
Children running through formal gardens with no respect for the elderly and infirm, or indeed for people who had thought that a visit to a country garden might be an opportunity for quiet contemplation. And,of course, I didn't once witness one of these smug complacent inadequate parents stop and say to their brat "Ooh, look, Olivia, Ben look at that pretty flower, we have that in our garden, did you know you can put that in food, it's a herb" (and yes, they were all called Olivia and Ben, or Jordan, and yes, both Olivia and Ben are names that feature in my family).
Actually, I am sure there were plenty of parents who did just that, but they were the quiet ones, who seemed to know their children, and didn't feel it necessary to draw attention to themselves, the ones who had taught their children from an early age how to behave in public. The apogee, or nadir, came in a walled garden. Three couples were on benches or the ground, half asleep and quiet. Two more couples, ourselves included, strolled around, quietly inspecting the flowers, grateful for some escape. And then arrives the family where the children were encouraged to run around chasing each other, whilst father bawled into his mobile "We're in the Secret Garden, it's really quiet..." and two Ladies of a certain age remarked disapprovingly "They're throwing coins in the pond again..."
I remember as a child in the 70s going to Visitor Attractions and, let's be honest, being a bit bored. The highlight was the few brief minutes spent in the Adventure Playground at the end, tucked away from the main event. I don't remember being encouraged, or allowed, to treat the rest of the place as an adventure playground. Now, it seems, the entire experience is designed to be one big playground for children. The majority of the visitors seemed to be without children - Twentysomething friends or lovers, older couples who might or might not have grown up children, Ladies who Lunch and Garden. And yet the day put was spoilt because it was over-run by children, the enjoyment of the majority ruined once again by the tyranny of the weekend-only parents who believe the world revolves around the children with whom they can't communicate, for lack of practice.
I don't suppose Margaret Hodge is reading this, but the other noticeable fact was that the customer base came from a very small and elite background. Almost completely white - the only BME people I spotted were in mixed-race groups. There was a representative number of Polish people and a few Americans, but clearly this attraction needs to be radically changed to make it relevant to people other than elites. I suggest that accessibility might be a start, followed by a re-examining of what the focus ought to be. Not that great a garden, a historically inaccurate historic 'experience', or a theme park, it does none well. But it has a big car park.
I took some fairly decent photos. It did amuse me that when I found something to photograph that was a bit different from the obvious, people would look at me weird, and then take the same photo. At one point, I was convinced one couple was stalking us, to take the same photo.
