Flicking through the internet, I have developed an uncontrollable urge to splurge.
I need to buy clothes.
That's a value-laden statement. Of course, I don't need to buy clothes. I have plenty of clothes that fit and are in good condition. But however much I pretend that I eschew consumerism and vanity, I do like clothes. What I really hate is shopping. I kept meaning to buy some new summer clothes, but never did, because summer never really happened. Which, wonderfully, leaves me with more justification for spending more money on more non-summer clothes.
I have developed an irresistable urge to buy skirts. And high heels.
Skirts are wonderful.
I like short skirts and woolly tights. Short skirts and woolly tights appear to be in. There is a god! I have been distressed by them being 'out' for the past few years. But they're back!
And long skirts are also still in. I love long skirts. But I have come to the conclusion that I really ought to be wearing long skirts with heels. Because heels are so me, right...
What's even more alarming is that I want an evening dress. I have no specific event coming up that requires an evening dress. Evening dresses are the biggest waste of money, because not only do you get very few wears per pound for the dress itself, it is also heavy on the accesories. How often does one actually get to wear an evening dress? There are events, but when you realise that every New Years Eve you end up with pictures of yourself in the same bloody dress it gets tedious.
Somewhere like the Royal Opera House is a great place for anything goes clothes wise. Evening dress or jeans, doesn't matter. And is obviously a good place to pose and preene in evening dress. Well, I say that, because people do. Then I think, well, actually, no, it's a really crap place to get dresed up for, because most of the time you're there, the lights are off, so it's pretty stupid to have paid a fortune for a dress that you're gonna wear throughout an evening of darkness.
And then there's practicalities. Going out in Central London, the most sensible way of getting there and back is bus and/or Tube. I often go to venues straight from work, tearing myself away from my desk only reluctantly at the last minute (yeah, right...). It would be obviously inappropriate to wear an evening dress throughout the working day, so I would need extra time for changing. Then hobble in crippling heels to Millbank to catch the bus to the Strand to hobble on crippling heels through the Piazza to emerge with the sorest of feet to hobble down to Leicester Square or Charing Cross (because Covent Garden station is closed for access). Not practical, not feasible. So that means taxis, an unnecessary price to pay, cash and carbon, for the privilege of wearing heels with an evening dress.
I am never entirely clear on the etiquette of frequency of wearing an evening dress. It must be really difficult for celebrities who always get photographed, but, suppose I were to wear the same evening dress every time I went to, say The Royal Opera House, plus at New Year, at what point would it become 'oh god there's that woman who always wears that same bloody dress.'
I really need to learn to walk in heels. (Where 'need' means 'it's a passing fancy...')
