Group dynamics

I think the need to form a gang or group must be an instinctive part of human nature and proof of our close relationship with pack animals. Cod-sociologists refer to the forming of gangs at school, highlighting the in-crowd/out-crowd mentality.

In my life experience the best-formed group happened in Reception Class aged 5, when there was a natural gravitation towards one girl, Donna. Everyone knew how to measure popularity/glamour by the degree of closeness to Donna. Interestingly, Donna was a natural leader, someone with charisma and an absence of bitchiness. Somehow collectively and individually we were able to make that instinctive judgement at age 5.

Subsequently I have always been aware of gang groupings. In-crowds and not in-crowds. I have always tended actively avoid being in the ‘in-crowd’. Don’t ask me why, personality flaw or a desire to be with soul mates. As I have got older I have observed more and more the insecurity aspect of group forming. To an extent it’s natural. We all have our insecurities, and we are, by nature, social pack animals.

If the group centres round a natural leader it is a success, because the natural leader, the “Donna” will never deliberately exclude people. But when the group is formed around someone who masks her insecurity with a domineering manipulative manner, it is doomed to failure. A school cohort is relatively stable, spending 7 or even 14 years progressing together, with few movements in or out. Adult life is fluid or even dynamic, with rapid change of personnel.

The newbie might initially gravitate towards the dominant self-appointed pack leader in order to feel included but as they settle and put their feet under the table, they grow disillusioned with the petulant demands of the one that reached out, and feel a growing need to create distance. They initially see this as betrayal that causes feeling of guilt. Soon, they realise that the out-crowd are out by choice and the in-crowd are deluded in assuming their superiority. Only the very few individuals with genuine leadership can keep together a group formed by convenience.

I reckon, anyway.