A very long time ago I used to recite, every Wednesday in term time, A Brownie Guide thinks of others before herself and does a good turn every day.
This week I have had good turns forced upon me.
On Monday I was on the Tube. I have observed over the years that the Monday of October half term is the busiest on the London Underground, as few people are away on holiday, and those that are seem to say "Let's take the children to London for the day/weekend/half term" - the preceding Friday is officially the busiest on the roads.
At Victoria people pile on, including a mother and daughter, aged five or six, and she was looking a bit bemused, even scared, at being in a crush of people taller than her. I caught the mother's eye and offered my seat. The mother didn't want to accept, not wanting to put me out, but I stated firmly that I was off at the next stop. So the daughter had a seat. People smiled nicely at me, and, come the next stop, the crowds parted to allow my free passage to the door. (Proving there is no such thing as pure altruism...).
As I rode the escalator at Green Park I reflected that having done my good deed I could afford to be Pure Bitch for the rest of the evening, and if anybody attempted to ruin my enjoyment of La Bohème by talking in the quiet bits or other anti-social behaviour they would be subject to the full force of my ire. Sadly, everyone around me behaved impeccably.
Last night, in the Ladies at the Barbican, I spotted a plastic bag on the peg on the door. Someone's shopping from the foyer shop. I pondered. If I left it there, they might remember they had they had forgotten it, might remember which of 30 or so cubicles they were in. Or not. Or somebody might nick it. So I took it back to the shop, and the chap on the till said he thought he knew whose it was. Another feeling of satisfaction, and another realisation I was now permitted to be Pure Bitch. No opportunity arose.
After the concert I went out to the Lakeside for a cigarette and was privy to not one but two domestics. A man was berating his wife "I'm never going out with you again it's fucking awful you waste half an hour looking at nothing," and she replied in a scarily whiny voice, whining. I was about to go in when two women started a domestic, one of them "That is the worst thing you have ever done, there are no excuses, you've ruined my life," and proceeded to throw a tantrum of foot-stamping, tears and wailing.
I curtailed my cigarette deeply embarrassed as her girlfriend tried to reason with her, and gave thanks that Jimmy and I have a rule of no dirty linen in public. There may be cold words, there may be silences, there may be glares, but no full scale rows with or without swearing and tears. He says he has no desire to provide entertainment for other people; last night's incidents were far from entertaining, just disturbing and unedifying. If they behave like this in public, what happens in private...?
I walked the high level walkway to Moorgate and was approached by a young woman. I was rather lagging behind the crowd and felt a tad vulnerable being alone, in the dark. I quickly sized her up and decided she was harmless and genuine and had lost her way to Moorgate - not entirely surprising in the Barbican. I said I was going that way and walked with her. She was very proper, and we walked a foot or two apart, each of us prepared to trust the other but not to take chances. I considered, she's very young, I'm old enough to be her mother, and that's maybe why she approached me.
It's happening increasingly - a few months ago a girl in her mid-teens stood close, but not too close, to me at the bus stop at Clapham Common, a little scared at being out on her own late at night, but comforted by the presence of an older woman. What can I say? I feel as terrified as you? I am more paranoid about the real and imagined dangers than I was ten years ago? You know I'm hopeless in a crisis? I may look like your mother's generation but I'm not a nurturer and certainly not a breeder? Don't place your trust in random strangers, even though you can rest assured that I will not hurt or harm you in any way and will do what I can to prevent others doing so?
I also sent an email of praise to the IT desk at work naming the helpline person with a can-do attitude. (But that was because I was feeling positive because my manager had praised me, and passed on his manager's praise for a positive customer satisfaction survey he had received back on my last issued report).
I think I have room to be total Pure Bitch over the weekend.
