A while ago on a course we were requested to write our names on a perspex nameplate. My classmates stared at me as I paused, considering how to do it. Mike and John had taken nano-seconds; I don't suppose it occurred to Norman and Andrew to plan the task ahead.
It's different for me. My proper official name has nine letters. I am nervous of running out of space. I have to visualise the midpoint and know that's where the 'L' must be. This is not helped by my very poor spacial awareness and grasp of spacial mechanics*.
I will readily concede that mine is not the only name with nine letters. Anyone called Elizabeth or Stephanie will confirm this. And I've had this discussion with the wife of a Christopher. Jacqueline also has ten letters.
When crossing into Egypt, I had to fill out cards to apply for a Tourist Visa. It requested one's first name and provided boxes, one box per letter. So I dutifully wrote 'G E R A L D I N E'. The border guard compared this to my passport, which also has my middle name, and said in a business-like manner 'Why not all your name?'. I started to explain, but he wrote quickly 'M A R G A R', then running out of boxes, he looked up at me, gave me a wicked grin and said "I understand..."
I've encountered people with three names adding up to nineteen, and know someone with three names adding up to twenty. She is not known by any of those, so has an additional five for her usual name. But can anyone beat seventeen from two?
* I believe - without being able to demonstrate - that this lowers my IQ by as many as 10 points, regardless of my excellent capacity at verbal and numeric reasoning, logic and memory. I struggled with spacial matters at O-Level Maths; by A-Level I had pulled myself up to O-Level standard. At University I started to grasp the basics of the A-Level syllabus (damn good thing I'm shit hot at algebra and theoretical calculus).
