I thought I would keep an online diary of this clinical trial, should it come to pass.
BTW, I had to laugh, shouldn't really, when walking up the road leading to the hospital. On the roadside is a Sexual Health clinic. You know it's a Sexual Health Clinic because it says so in BIG LETTERS on the signpost outside. Of course, on mmofm we're terribly grown up and know that everyone is affected by issues of Sexual Health, so when we walk past and see the queues forming outside it would never cross our minds to think "Clap Clinic" and snigger, as we make our way to the stigma-free Rheumatology. Oh no, not at all.
A doctor came and inflicted pain on me. I had to respond if it hurt (rather than just tender). Eight times it hurt, but to get the boxes ticked, I had to have eleven howls of pain. I'm sure if she had squeezed my feet, she would have found twice eleven on each, let alone my calves, but she didn't go below my knees. I felt all day that I was walking on sharp loose chippings barefoot. sigh
So I go back at the end of next week. If I pass the eleven points of pain, I will undergo certain examinations such as an MRI - which will last about fifty minutes. No smoking allowed, I suppose. And I don't suppose I'll be able to take my mp3 player in with me. But they'll find out if I have a brain. I'll have an ECG - I've never had one of those, but I guess they'll find out if I have a heart. And I will give lots of blood samples, so they'll find out if I have courage. I suppose if I have a brain, a heart and courage that proves I'm not the wicked witch of SW2.
And then I shall have a prescription for thirteen weeks, with monitoring and whatnots at frequent intervals. For this I get paid travel expenses. Double sigh
