The thing about my office block is that, because it holds 3500 people it is capable of sustaining viable commerce. They have not yet introduced lunchtime bazaars selling cheap pseudo-ethnic jewellery, nor has the promised cash machine been installed. Despite popular demand, Friday trampolining is not yet a feature. Nor, unlike a previous workplace, Tuesday Shiatsu.
But, we do have a FastTicket machine for train tickets. And a restaurant and two cafés. Between them, and the vending machines, these catering outlets sell just about everything you can possibly want in a catering sort-of-way. Hot dinners healthy and non-healthy, soups, salads, yoghurts, cream cakes, chocolate cakes, lardy-Merkin-muffins, water fruit juices, sugar-and-fizz drinks, milk, yoghurt drinks, teas, fruit infusions, hot chocolate,coffee with or without syrup shots, chocolate bars traditional and modern organic, fruit, crisps, nuts, chewing gum, polo mints, even, on specific occasions, alcohol. I have heard it say we even have a gym (dread word...) in the basement. But one thing they do not sell is sweeties.
So, your intrepid blogger ventured to the Evil Empire that sits in the next building. Some people boycott the Evil Empire, but my plan is more cunning. I go in there specifically to buy the items that are loss leaders, mainly sandwiches, milk, Duchy Originals Organic biscuits, that sort of thing. Guiltily, I chose something that - sweeties - that wouldn't be a loss leader. The total came to £3.76, I tendered a tenner. The check-out woman apologised for not having any fivers, and having to give me maggies instead. Pleasantly, I said, it wasn't a problem, it all gets spent just as quickly. She counted out my change "That's seven pounds and twenty four..."
As I walked away from the shop, I thought "No, it's not."
When you hear that the Evil Empire has gone into liquidation, you'll know whom to credit...
