An engineer phoned. Where d'you live? he asked. It's not even worth saying "On the A-Z". So I gave instructions.
A few minutes later he turns up. He asks what the problem is. I start to explain. He says "Perhaps I should come back when you're ready." I asked him what he meant. He said "You're not ready. I'll come back when you are." We had a small amount of dialogue which included me using words such as "I don't know what your problem is. You clearly have a problem. Speak to your manager. I will be expecting compensation."
I got onto the call centre. Cut a long story short, he won't fix my boiler because I'm wearing my pyjamas.
I have never heard anything so ridiculous.
Not 'baby doll negligee'. Not underwear. Pyjamas. Long trousers and button up the front jacket. Yes, obviously pyjamas, because tartan. Thick weave. I wear them round the house. Some people wear a jogging suit, or leggings and an old t-shirt.
On a hot summer's day I might have greeted him wearing a sleeveless top and shorts. If you go round people's houses, what exactly do you expect? I've had people opening the door to me wearing just a bath towel. Or just a door.
Maybe he thought I was going to seduce him. Arrogant twunt. Wouldn't have touched him with a bargepole even if I was wearing beer goggles in a meat market. In all the years I have lived here, and had various workmen round, it has never ever crossed my mind to seduce any one of them.
So I was caught in a cleft stick of having the same man back before one, as per my appointment, or a different one between 12 and 6. I was tempted to say "I'll have him back and put my burqa on, shall I?" Then I remembered I don't have a burqa. So I said "I'm not having that man back in my house..."
What he probably meant was because I wasn't wearing a bra. He has some serious problems, and needs to change job.
