I made some reference below to the phraseology of my friend Helen-in-Glasgow (not to be confused with Helen in Essex, even though Helen-in-Glasgow is actually from Essex)
The 'And to think some women never have an orgasm' is one of them, but some of the other good ones include (deservedly) naming her ex-stepmother 'The Bitch Queen from Hell'. On one Girls' Holiday, she came up with titles for two potentially best selling books, 100 Places to Park Your Tractor in Ireland, and 100 Places To Park Your Roadblock in Belfast.
On another holiday we noticed that there was a pattern to the names of houses we were passing - Ocean View, Atlantic View, Mountain View, Meadow View, Castle View. She reasoned that the ultimate place would have to be "View View..." Still, she never spotted the one round the corner from me - "Prison View." I can't remember who Iwas canvassing with when we found this but we had to take five to compose ourselves.
She had a gentleman friend she referred to as the Serial Legover.
Once when we were in our Bridget Jones phase, and lamenting the lack of men in our respective lives, I bravely suggested that neither of us actually needed men. She suggested that they were useful for changing lightbulbs. I said, "What! Can't you change a lightbulb?" Her reply, "Yes, but it's a woman's right to choose..."
There are many more, that I'm sure will occur to me.
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