0800 091 0084 as explained by Inspector Sands of Casino Avenue
I did last night and spoke to Billy Bob of VIP Holidays. For twenty five minutes.
I asked him where he was. First of all, he said Afghanistan, then the West Bank, then the Isle of Man. I said I had been to the West Bank (nearly true -I've seen it sort of) and the Isle of Man. I explained that I found it offensive that his company was cold-calling people, many of whom were part of TPS. He was very patronising and said asked me what makes the world go round. I suggested that just because his company wanted to make a profit, it didn't give them the right to harrass people. He said that he gets six or seven cold calls a day at home, he conceded it was irritating, and that he would never do business with the companies who use that tactic. I explained that where I live it is possible to opt out of cold-calls, except when they are harrassment from overseas. As it happens, I have an answerphone and Caller ID, but disproportionate numbers of elderly or infirm people don't, and harrassment is harrassment.
He told me that everybody wants to come to Florida, and specifically to Orlando, to DisneyWorld (he later said that although he returned to live in Florida in 1980 he hasn't been to Disneyland since 1977.) He said he knew this because everybody who rings him wants to. Duh! I said, those that don't want to don't ring him. He did later concede that mine was not the first call he has got from people in the UK having a go.
I was very polite and a 'nice lady', unlikemost of the others who scream and shout. He asked me whether I was married; I asked what relevance that was; he said that it was important to know because then we'll know if you have kids; I suggested that people have kids outside of marriage; he said that was naughty. He later said that people want to take their family to Disneyland, I asked him what he meant by family, he said a married couple with children, I said family could be an unmarried couple, or a single person with kids, or a lesbian couple with kids, or a load of related adults.
I told him that the best holiday I had ever had was in a country where we stayed in private homes, mixed with the locals, paid local people to take us to places off the beaten track, because it was a very entrepreunerial society. He asked me where it was - I said Cuba, and he said I was a Communist. I said, no, I'm a democratic socialist who believes in a mixed economy, especially one that encourages individual entrepreneurship. He sneered and said "You stayed in Bed and Breakfast?" I said we stayed in private homes. He was floored by that.
I asked him where he would like to visit, he said Hawaii. Oh, the Fiftieth State, I said. What foreign country would you like to visit, and he said he had once helped someone travel to the South Pacific. He then mentioned that he had spent a month in Japan. That's quite a long time, I said, suitably impressed. He was in a hospital, ambulatory, which I misunderstood as he worked on an ambulance. Turns out he was injured in Vietnam and shipped out to Japan. I didn't bite the Vietnam bait, commenting that very many people were sent to Vietnam against their wishes. He said that he enrolled in the Marine Corps straight out of High School, in order to avoid being drafted. I commented that that was a rational decision, although not one that a teenager really has the maturity to make.
I think he was annoyed that I didn't do the whole anti-US rhetoric, mentioning repeatedly that I have relatives in Florida, that I would very much like to visit New York and New Orleans again, but I would far rather go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art than Disneyland, and that I may consider a visit to the States again but in the meantime I have plans to visit three European cities and maybe aftr that Mexico.
Twenty five minutes it was. An 0800 number. They pay for the call.
He did say that the VIP Holidays' marketing company is UK-based...
