Karen asks:
Which has been the best year of your life so far?
I went through every year of my life. Obviously, I can't remember 1968 and 1969 (as they say, if you can remember the Sixties, you weren't there). I suppose up until 1974 all years were good years because my greatest problem in life was people who insisted on reading their reading books out loud. Then I learnt to be embarrassed and that changed my life.
Schooldays are supposed to be the best days of your life. I don't really buy that. It' easy to look back and remember only the good times - those long summer holidays when the sun always shone, the days when pop music was listenable-to, and there were no problems.
It's easy to forget the more difficult times because they seem trivial now. How easily small children 'break friends' with someone because they don't have the ability to put a small disagreement into perspective. It's easy to forget all the things that I didn't do, and wanted to, because I lacked defiance. My teenage ambitions included to be a lawyer, or to be a journalist. I didn't pursue the former because said it was boring, the latter because people said you would have to produce an amazing portfolio even to get noticed. Perhaps I never really wanted them.
I remember the anx and pain of falling in love for the first time. I was too embarrassed to be forward, I didn't even know what words to use. I didn't know how to flirt, how to sound him out. He was even shyer and more inexperienced than me. And it hurt like hell when I thought he wasn't noticing. Took me a long time to grow out of that.
University was three fantastic years when I really grew up. But were they the best years of my life? Probably not. I rue a lot of things I didn't do. No sense of adventure. Too cowered by my mother's capricious moods. I don't regret them. I make it my life's rule never to regret anything, because you can't change what's done, or left undone. I spent a lot of the time being miserable, not fitting in, not taking advantage of the superb opportunities offered.
I thought about years when Manchester United have won the FA Cup, Or Premiership. Or Double. Or Treble (including European Cup), or that Labour has won a crucial election, nationally or locally.
It's difficult to sort out good years from bad years. Most years are mixed. Some years are excellent right through the summer but usher in a miserable autumn. Or vice versa.
Is there any time in my life where I would prefer to be than now, the answer is no.
This year has been funny. Bad times at work, now resolved (although I know I could not do what I do for the rest of my life); a big row with my sister, now resolved (we reunited in opposition to our Aunt); and more weight gain, coupled with a dissatisfaction with where I live. All good though - I no longer allow myself to be treated as a doormat, and I have (re) discovered a love of being outdoors - and walking, which will assist with weight loss.
So, because I am basically happy with who I am, although not necessarily with where I am at, this year is the best year. But next year will be better.
Next year I'll ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in my hair.
