Gertsamtkunstwerk

Tales from the cycle trail

So, by mid-morning Saturday we had two bikes in the shed, gleaming new and raring to go. But Jimmy  wasn't feeling too good (and felt worse Sunday) plus the weather forecast was heavy rain. The actual weather on Sunday was something or other wet in the morning, dull, overcast and dry in the afternoon. But never mind. Today's another day.

Remember that it is cough years since either of us has properly been on a bike, and we are generally out of condition. Absolutely no point taking unnecessary risks. Besides, even cough years ago, I found no pleasure in cycling down busy A roads with dirty lorries and fast cars whizzing by, some in quite an intimidatory manner. So, in order just to re-familiarise myself with riding, and specifically to familiarise myself with this bike, I suggested we went to Tooting Common.

Tooting Common is very near where I live, really just at the end of my road. It's also very close to where I used to live. So that's 17+ years of living very close to Tooting Common. Whether from Tooting Bec Road or from Emmanuel Road I have always considered Tooting Common to be very boring, just expanses of grass, regularly mown, and neat paths, ideal for walking dogs and small children, but essentially boring (except for the Lido). But being flat and boring, I thought, ideal for trying out bicycles.

Of course the first thing you encounter are pathways designated 'no cycling'. I interpret that as 'use your judgement'. I imagine that on a hot Saturday afternoon, these are teeming with pedestrians, and as a pedestrian of many years' standing, aggressive cyclists are a nuisance. On a dull overhung Monday morning, they are practically deserted, a few dog walkers,  some parents (or nannies) with toddler and the odd jogger. As we got deeper onto the common, these became fewer. When we encountered pedestrians we rode at walking pace and gave them a wide berth, or we paused to let them cross first.  In any case it was more fun to leave the tarmac path and explore the mud or pebbled trails. Round the pond, just about deserted, through the trees, under railway bridges. We were both astonished. We had no idea that Tooting Common was so rural.

Obviously, it's not really rural, not in a technical sense. But when you are surrounded by nature, shielded from traffic, it's as good as, in many ways. I know people yearn to live 'in the country' for peace and quiet, but I never have - too much hassle, too much inconvenience, too far from anywhere, too great a need to conform. I much prefer visiting the countryside occasionally and enjoying the green spaces on my doorstep.

So it's a little crazy that I have never previously explored the countryside at the end of my road, two minutes from home!

There's a good Flickr Stream, which includes some excellent photos

Bike trials

Ten days ago, as you may recall me writing, I ordered and paid for a new bike. Having the maturity of a small child on Christmas Eve, I wanted it there and then. But the man in the shop explained that they had to build it and check it for road-worthiness, because if I took away a bike that wasn't roadworthy, and ended up under a bus, the shop will be liable.

They had a sign up that said 'Our promise. If you order before 12 noon we will build your bike for the same day. If you order after 12 noon, we will build it for the next day.' As this was early Friday afternoon, I could have possibly expected a Saturday build, definitely Monday. But no, they said Tuesday at the earliest. Tuesday wasn't convenient so we agreed Thursday.

On Monday we returned to the shop and ordered and paid for a bike for Jimmy. Basically the same model, although obviously mine is female geometry and without the crossbar to enable me to ride side-saddle. We agreed Thursday also for his.

Thursday evening we go there, to be told that my bike is ready but his isn't; it hasn't been built, it wasn't on the list. After some deliberating we decide to take mine and he said he'd collect his Saturday (we were at a funeral Friday).

He suggested that I ride it round the car-park, but I declined, seeing as though the car park was being used for boy-racers thirty-something women, with children in the back,  doing handbrake turns. "It's like Brands Hatch!" I exclaimed.

Being that I am middle-aged and increasingly nervous cautious, and I haven't actually properly been on a bike in cough years, I thought - should I ride on the A204, a busy bus-and-commuter route in the rush hour,  or should I wheel it to the park conveniently situated just round the corner. Immediately inside the park gates I mounted, eased down on the right pedal and fell off.

Yeah, yeah, I can see you all laughing now.

What I did was remount immediately, and then go "Er? How come my handle bars are all wonky?"

Simple answer, they were loose in the mount, so the smallest amount of pressure meant they just swivelled round to 90 degrees. I wheeled it back to the shop, spoke to the sales assistant who summoned the manager. The manager was all apologetic and said this shouldn't have happened. It's part of procedures when issuing a bike to tighten the handlebars because they are stored hanging up with the handlebars in line with the body of the bike. I suggested that part of the procedures should be training staff to follow procedures. The manager said the sales assistant had been there three months and it was unlikely that it was the first bike he had issued*.

I also raised the issue of Jimmy's bike not being ready as booked, despite the 'promise' on the yellow notice. The manager ran a print and realised that it was actually scheduled for collection on 30 December 1899. Yes, really... I suggested that there should be some recognition of the late delivery and the manager said he'd see what he could do. Jimmy collected his bike on Saturday (no 'recognition' offered) and it was only when he got it home that we realised that my mudguards, paid for and annotated on the order, hadn't been fitted. Sigh

Naturally, an email, stating all the facts, has been sent to Head Office Customer Service. Auto reply promised a substantive reply in 7 days.

* You might say I should have checked: my going round to the park was my way of checking. That does not in any way resolve them of the duty of care, stated at the point of purchase, to ensure a bike leaving the premises is road-worthy.