I love people-watching. It's great when you sit in a cafe beside the harbour or lake and watch people go by. Even when you are negative about their clothes, or scathing that they are too thin or too fat, it's not personal or malicious. You're not making a leap that because they look good/bad they are good/bad people.
When you have a chance to get to know people, at work or neighbours, you tend to suspend judgement on their appearance because of that subconscious knowledge that you will see them again and again, get to know them at least a little, find the clues to their personality. I assume a new colleague to be nice unless I find out otherwise. And even when there is an argument or an irritation, it's not the whole relationship, so those incidents are forgiven and forgotten in the light of the more frequent examples of niceness.
Holiday hotels are different. I know that some people go on holiday with the hope of finding friends in their hotel. I don't. I'm prepared to be polite, but increasingly cautious of anything that resembles friendliness. There you are, sitting exchanging anecdotes from this or previous holidays, and it's all very civil, when they say "Of course, where we lived until we sold the house, it's full of Asians so house prices went down, because they're all terrorists." I can't continue that conversation. Years ago someone advised me - after a similar incident on an intercity train - that the best tactic is just to say "I no longer want to continue this conversation" and go back to reading your book. But that's difficult to do without being confrontational. You can walk away, but that presupposes another available seat.
At least by opening their mouth they've revealed themselves to be ignorant. The more they mouth on the more they make it clear how stupid they are. People who will offer an opinion on anything and are insulted when the opinion is challenged. When I suggest that without facts to back up their opinion, it's useless. When they round off the discussion by saying "It's the Africans who are causing global warming, why do all those women in Africa have seven children, it's because they've got AIDS, that's why, but what would women know, they're all stupid like her" loudly, gesturing to me.
And then sends his dowdy downtrodden wife over to say "You've got a nerve going on about The Gambia, why, you're here, and you've got a laptop so you know nothing about The Gambia..." "What? I said nothing about The Gambia...you know, there's more to Africa than a few holiday resorts in one country." Not worth saying. She wouldn't understand. Can barely string a sentence together. Lives with a man who thinks that all women are stupid. "Look love, if you're going to have a discussion about something, bring some facts, or analysis or anecdote or reflection to the table. Don't sound off like you've absorbed a Sun editorial." No, can't be bothered. She wants a confrontation; it would make her holiday complete if I glassed her. I don't glass people. Turn away "Whatever..."
Keep yourself to yourself, that's best. Go about your own business. A hotel isn't a community. My business isn't yours. We're not on holiday together.
Two women from Birmingham. Dominating and loud. Every time we went anywhere in the hotel, there they were. The evidence was that they never ventured out. Spent all day drinking by the pool, all evening drinking in the bar. Everything they said audible to all. Not that they said anything much. 20% of people thought they were a laugh, livened the place up. A proportion of that 20% shagged them. I know because it was announced loudly to all and sundry. One evening we ate in the hotel restaurant. I just glanced around unfocused and was shocked to see three separate individuals glaring with undisguised contempt bordering on hatred at them. The general looks of irritation were easy to spot. We shared a taxi with two women from the Netherlands and made polite conversation. One said there's a lot of English people in the hotel. Loud English people, I replied. The one with the hair (dreadlocks to her waist), she commented. Look at me, look at me, I said. Her amused laughter did not conceal her bemused pity.
Travel is supposed to broaden the mind. I think it just reinforces prejudices. Certainly mine. Of course I want to be entertained, but not by loud shouting of f and c words in an otherwise vacuum. Don't discuss sex, religion and politics. Find your way, be neutral, allow warmth to develop.
