Jimmy normally comes about three-ish. I am a lazy cow. So I rang him up to say I had run out of cigarettes, and he remembered milk was low. He absolutely promised he would be home by 2.30, but he was having a drink with Bobby. I thought it a bit strange, but I knew it was a big day for Bobby because he rescued a woman from the sea five years ago and she has spent those five years trying to track him down.
I wasn't best pleased when Jimmy came home somewhat the worse for wear. Rather than get involved in an argument, I thought I would have a bath, then I fell asleep on the bed.
I went downstairs and he was nowhere to be seen. To say I was angry was an understatement - after he had been saying yesterday he wanted to spend the afternoon with me. I rang him. No reply.
Next minute, my phone rings. I answer it. It's him, he's upstairs, in the spare room.
Feeling extremely stupid I go upstairs to the spare room, and he starts going on about it being his birthday. I'm thinking, it's not. If it was I would have bought him stuff. Actually, I was thinking, if it's Jimmy's birthday today, it means Tristan und Isolde is released today, and I think I might have noticed. But instead I said "It's definitely not your birthday; the BBC News website says 25 July, I would have got paid last Friday." Besides, if it were his birthday today we would have missed the Sevitz Braai and his great-nephew's christening.
He's managed to persuade everyone it's his birthday, not least his brother. He's had people buying him drinks. He's even had his son rob his till to buy him a birthday card.
I've told him he's had it now and not to even think about having a drink next week when it really is his birthday...
Update: I 've just realised that it's the fifth anniversary of Concorde crashing. Which means it's our fifth anniversary today...
