No doubt this post will enrage a few people; if it enrages you, do please say so, and why.
In the launch of the Proms the other day, Nicholas Kenyon boasted that any child under sixteen will get admission to any Prom for half price. I read this as being a way of encouraging more families* to go. That seems entirely sensible for the Blue Peter Prom, and for one or two others that are obviously targeted at children. Wild horses wouldn't drag me there.
But I rather resent it for the rest of the programme. A child paying half price is taking up a seat that might otherwise have been taken by a full price paying person. There is no indication that people applying for half price seats will have lower priority for seats than those wishing to pay full price. That might mean that someone gets a better seat than me for a much lower price. I may be willing to pay, say, £12 for a seat, there are none left, so I end up paying £6 for a restricted view seat whilst some child is paying £6 for a full view seat that I coveted. That isn't fair.
There is a part of me that thinks that any child prepared to go to something like Die Walku¨re, stay the entire time, and behave themself ought to get in free. Well, not Die Walküre. But some other serious heavy programme. I'm not actually convinced that it will attract new people - the Royal Opera House found that the majority of people taking advantage of the 'Tenor for a Tenner' on Mondays were people who were also seeing Tenors, and the rest, for as little as £13 on other days including Mondays. It will just be the usual suspects taking their kids to the Saturday night fare of shorter pieces in a light programme.
When we were flying to Barcelona, one of the Easy Jet staff called for all those who need assistance and for those with children to begin boarding. At that, some ghastly couple with two robust boys aged about 10 and 12 barged forward. I resented that. We had arrived at check-in literally moments before it opened, and these people were certainly not there in that initial bunch of people. So, they were paying less than us, and had checked in after us, but they got a better choice of seats.
In contrast, at Barcelona, they called specifically for those with children under five, with which I have no complaint. They called them in tandem with Boarding card numbers 1-30. We were 26 and 27. One man with a bunch of snivelling brats made a pointed comment at Jimmy and me, implying we had pushed in. He had been queuing for fiteen minutes, whilst we had been siting in the cafeteria smoking, and just sauntered to the place where they check the boarding cards rather than pointlessly joining an artificial queue. I am already subsidising their flight; why should I also be treated as less of a person? Incidentally, at Glasgow, Easy Jet refused me priority boarding even though I had my arm in a sling. I still haven't forgiven them for that, and I'm not quite sure why I used them for Barcelona.
When we were flying to Taba there were a few spare seats. As it happened we got one of them, and I know that we were lucky. But we didn't know that until the cabin doors were shut. We were amongst the last to board, we were nearly prevented from boarding, less said about that the better, except to say that somebody had had two hours to go to the loo... As we walked down the aisle we heard some man, with child of about a year or eighteen months, asking the trollydolly in quite a confrontational tone "Where are the spare seats? Get someone to swap with us. We need a spare seat because of the baby." They seemed to think that the baby, who was getting a free flight, had a right to a seat. There is no rule to prevent someone paying for a seat for an under-two - I know people who have done it, especially on medium haul flights (it's five hours to Egypt). And I suppose there is no harm in asking - the worst they can say is say 'no. But if I was asking I would do in the manner of a supplicant. It was a good thing the trollydolly didn't ask us to swap, because I would have refused outright, even though I would have known we just got lucky in a lottery.
Flying back from Almeira on a late night flight with JMC, they announced they had some blankets, but not enough for everybody, so priority would be given to children (travelling at half price). I commented to Jimmy "What about the elderly and disabled?" The man on my other side commented he wouldn't mind one; he was diabetic. (Whether that's a valid medical point, or whether he was merely supporting my point, I don't know, but he did get a diabetic meal. We agreed it looked far more appetising than my veggie or Jimmy's carniverous).
Talking of veggie meals, on the Excel flight from Taba they asked for various passengers to make themselves known. Quite a lot of the names were Asian, which made me think it was the veggie list, but my name wasn't there. The couple across the aisle - white woman, Asian man - had an animated discussion, which ended with her saying to him, "Ask them. You've got to ask them..."
I leaned across, "Excuse me, are you veggie?"
"He is," she said, "but his name wasn't on the list - that was the veggie list wasn't it?"
"I'm guessing it was, but my name wasn't on it."
"It was," he said. "They're all Asians - It's got to be the veggie list." So we asked, and it was, but our names weren't on it, nor were two other people - an Asian woman and white man sitting a few rows forward. We were told that as our names weren't on the list, we couldn't have a veggie meal. "But you can have chicken." Laughter. Not of amusement.
I suggested to them that whilst I recognised it was not the fault specifically of that individual trolleydolly, I had, nevertheless, paid for a meal on board. If veggie wasn't available, that should have been clear when I booked it - and my itinerary clearly showed I had requested it. I would not accept any substitute, except a vegan meal. We had been delayed for two hours, without any announcements at an airport that sold just crisps and chocolate in the way of food, and Excel, like most airlines, don't like people bringing their own food on board. Four more veggie meals were magicked out of thin air.
Time and again people moan about their being insufficient veggie meals on board. Imagine there being insufficient meat meals! Or, god help us, insufficient Turkey Twizzlers with obligatory crayoning book.
Another thing I hate about Easy Jet is that they carry no bitter lemon, and only 'Slimline Yuck Tonic' to go with my gin.
I'm not as well travelled as most people; even so I've clocked up a few air miles over the years. So far, I have had two companies against which I have no complaints - an American ticketless airline with purple livery based in Atlanta Georgia, and RyanAir. British Airways, I'll tolerate; and on balance I'd go again with Excel. I would not go near JMC as an airline or a tour company if they were last ones on earth, Lufthansa never again, and Easy Jet only if they were the only alternative, or ridiculously cheaper than the rest, or if I was forced to as a result as my manager's madcap mission to save the Department millions of pounds on travel (bah, humbug...!)
It remains to be seen how Air Berlin shape up...
* prostituting the language to pander to children...
