There I was all settling for a nice quiet blogging at work, when I decided it was time to see if I could produce some white smoke. Despite standing outside the building and drawing frantically on a cigarette, the smoke remained resolutely black.
So I went back inside and caught a glimpse of a TV screen in the lift lobby showing a papal chimney. On my floor I looked at the TV screen, where the smoke billowing looked distinctly white. Then black. Then sort of grey, as the BBC explained it might or might not be white, as in 1978, and we'd know if it was white if bells started peeling.
Well, we hung around, I declared "It's Ratzinger, being so early." They all looked at me, I thought, you know, I could be one of these BBC pundits, money for old rope if you ask me. I had to quickly reassure my colleagues that I didn't have a hotline to the Vatican...
Eventually some stern old bloke came out and began addressing us. I could understand the Latin fine. At least, I think it was Latin, it was some language I could understand fine.
"Oh, he's called Joseph," I thought. "That will please Nephew #1." Then the stern looking bloke and the Beeb said it was Ratzinger, so I stormed off for a much needed pee, exchanging glum regrets with a woman in the lift lobby.
I returned and asked "What's he calling himself?"
"Benedict," they said.
"Oh," I thought, "that will please Nephew #2". And explained to my colleagues that six weeks ago my nephew arrived, called Benedict.
So remember, what my family does today, the Vatican does tomorrow
Let's hope he's not burdened with people's assumptions that he was named in Papal honour. That could be tiresome. And if he goes to a Catholic school he could end up with an overload of similarly named classmates.
Both nephews have William as their second name. William, as in the future King.
Matt has assured me that Benedict I is a stern theologian with a rigid attitude to nappies and cots.
