Specious wisdom

I have been told three things today.

1. I went to sit at the back of the bus, downstairs. A woman turned to me and said I shouldn't sit there, it was far too warm, and when I went out in the cold the cold would get to my bones. I patiently explained that i was heading straight to the Tube and then to the warm office. She told me that she always warns people about that, and she's seventy-t'ree with t'irty two grandchildren and t'ree great-grandchildren
2. My work 'pooter wouldn't work so I rang up IT support, who suggested that it might be the connector that goes into the monitor*. I joked with the IT guy that I should spray it with WD-40. He said you should never use WD-40 on electrical equipment. All my colleagues agreed that you can - it's one of those things that makes a man a man, like sharpening pencils with a knife
3. Jimmy has got a cold and he says it's a direct result of having a shower not long before going out on Friday night, despite me saying that colds are caused by viruses

* oh the embarrassment - if it had happened at home, I would have checked that immediately