Stolen from Mad Bull
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
A more accurate expression of how the Western impact is perceived by those who oppose it was given by Khomeini, when he spoke of the United States as 'the Great Satan'. Satan is not an imperialist; he is a tempter.From The Middle East by Bernard Lewis.
2. Stretch your left arm as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Computer screen
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Jonny Wilkinson on Parky. Or a DVD.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is.1355
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
1404
Not bad
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Peer Gynt by Grieg and Jimmy bundling garden waste into sacks.
7. When last did you step outside? What were you doing?
A few minutes ago, to give Jimmy a cup of coffee and to play fencing, him with a big stick, me with a teaspoon. I won.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
9. What are you wearing?
Brown jeans and deep salmon rugby shirt. Navy blue slippers embroidered with teddy bear. I don't know what's happened to me but these trousers used to be snug, now I can fit an entire brass band down them. You're not supposed to accidentally lose weight at my age.
10. Did you dream last night?
Being very pissed on all the port I didn't fling over the living room, I slept the sleep of the pissed all night.
11. When last did you laugh?
Out in the garden when fencing with the teaspoon.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Wall paper painted over with a wash-effect maroon colour. Photos - in front of me, my father, my nephew when newborn, and my nephew and niece climbing on me in Mother's garden. Over my left shoulder a frame containing twelve photos of Uni friends. Over my right shoulder a frame containing eleven photos of me and another one containing thirteen photos of friends and rellies. Behind me an entire chimney breast that could do with adornment.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
No.
14. What do you think of this quiz.
Gives scope for describing domestic minutiae
15. What is the last film you saw?
See entry below (it was Carmen).
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Shoes. Or Creme Eggs. Or a proper hi-fi to replace the famously knackered midi-system. A piano. Something luxurious for Jimmy
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
When I was at secondary school I used to tell whopping lies about leading an interesting life. In reality I led the world's most boring life.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Education for all
19. Do you like to dance?
I love to dance although I'm rubbish. My best dancing is done in private "Dance Like Nobody's Watching." I love to dance in the lapping waves at water's edge. I love the entire concept of "Take Me Dancing Naked In The Rain".
But no one dances like my niece who just doesn't stop. I actually think she was born dancing. Certainly, the first time I held her in my arms when she was just a few days old she was wriggling along in time to Prince's 1999.
20. George Bush: is he a power crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
He is a power crazy nutcase, and also, a liar! (I have left Mad Bull's answer here - nothing more to be said.)
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Santuzza or Tarsicia
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
James. Or Edward.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Unlikely. I could probably tolerate New York (once they repeal the ridiculous smoking laws) but it's so like London, it probably isn't really abroad at all.