Lyle's unplanned-and-with-disgust-barely (sic)-disguised account of his trip to Redcar's top lap-and-pole-dancing establishment prompts one in an occasional series of reminiscing about my time on the Council.
Caesars nightclub is quite possibly Streatham Hill's top night-spot. When I was on licensing they applied for a "Rule 4 waiver". Innocuous though a Rule 4 waiver may seem it is actually about bringing live sex to Streatham* and thus has to be approved by Licensing. There were many objections to the live sex show. The objections were on the grounds of prostitution and attracting seedy types , lowering the tone, or, from the private girls' school, corrupting morals because the girls would have to walk past it.
I had a belter of a Licensing committee, an absolute star, and Fergus of the local paper told me that I had basically written his front page for him, only the editor cut most of it for some competing news story. As it happened I was the only female member of Committee that night - the other regular woman member at the time stood down as she always did because Caesars is in her ward. I gave the owner of Caesur's a thorough cross-examining, for which he respected me.
The catch to this live sex-show is that the lap dancers are all men, and the clientele is all female. Even the bar and waiting staff are female on lap-dancing night. It was fabulous as people built up horror stories of sleaze, men in dirty raincoats and random prostitution/condoms/drugs appearing. I referred to media stories I had read about a lot of lap-dancing clubs being staffed by very young Eastern European women - girls - transported over here on false pretences and coerced into a life of slavery. I sought assurances from Fred that all performers would be over 18. He said that he wanted to avoid sleaze and exploitation, which was he was having male lap-dancers for Ladies. He then looked me in the eye and said, "As I'm sure you're aware, Councillor, the women that we wish to attract will not be interested in very young men but fully-developed men in their mid twenties, dressed as firemen...."
I had another question to ask, but really struggled on phraseology, bearing in mind the presence of Christian Groups, Pensioners' Organisations and Schoolgirls. Finally I said, "How can I phrase this delicately? Will your performers be opting for the Full Monty option?" Fred clarified that it would not be a genuine offer if the dancers remained clad.
The last Licencing committee before the 2002 elections was an all female affair. Johanna were standing down. Trevor, the Head of Licensing at the time, teased us, saying that we wouldn't have anything to do with our time. Johanna said she was going to have lots of loud parties. Trevor suggested that the Noise Squad might have to call. Johanna pointed out that, as she lived next to the prison, her neighbours could object all they liked, but couldn't do anything about it. I said that I would, of course, become a regular at Caesar's Ladies night. Funny, despite my oft-quoted promise to organise an-ex-Labour-Lambeth-women's night out to our local lap dancing joint, I have never been, despite passing it on the way home most evenings...
* Once upon a time the 'good citizens' of Streatham objected to the fact that 'Brixton' bus garage was actually in Streatham. And objected strongly to Marks and Spencer's plan to open there because it would lower the tone of the neighbourhood. You still see these 'good citizens' of Streatham turn out dutifully to vote Conservative on Election Day - all fur-coat and layers of Polyfilla covering the cracks. One Tory teller whispered to me in awe that one little old lady was, in the Thirties, 'one of the young fashion things of Streatham'.
Comments