... is not something that appears on my CV.
Contains potentially disturbing subject matter
It's common amongst teenagers, most of whom go on to live lives as model citizens. It's a very female crime, often perpetrated by women who are otherwise non-criminal, and often have no economic need to do so.
In the past five years, it's something I have become increasingly interested in. I occasionally have dreams about shoplifting, all of which are pleasurable. I sometimes walk into shops and contemplate carrying out an act. My desire to do so is akin to a sexual urge.
Marks and Spencer, Friday. Upstairs, trying on a suit, I again got that familiar urge. A desire to shoplift. Indisputedly, a sexual-type urge. I wanted to, but at the back of my mind lurked some common sense - how do I explain such a conviction at work, especially where I work. And it's not the sort of conviction an accountant can carry lightly.
Downstirs I selected five tops and took them to the changing room. "Four" said the assistant. "Five" I corrected her.
In the cubicle I cursed the anorak-auditor in me. She was all set to enter '4' on the computer. I already knew from upstairs, and from the previous visits, they don't check your tag on exit. I already had a M&S plastic bag. I had my rucksack. Tops - not one of them had a securtiy tag. How simple would it be to slip one into a bag and saunter out with the other four, appearing to the world as a model citizen, but in reality, harbouring a dreadful secret.
As I type this, I realise, it would not have been enough. I would have been disappointed. The ultimate low risk shoplifting experience. Like all sexual deviance, it would not have satisfied at that low level. I would have felt tempted to go on and try something more risky - perhaps a trivial item of stationery from Woolworths, an object of desire from John Lewis, a book from Books Etc. Perhaps my general clumsiness would have helped. Cause confusion by rooting in bag for Palm to consult shopping list. Make imaginary phonecall.
I know it's morally wrong, I know that as a consumer I pay the cost of 'slippage' from shops. I have heard that places like Sainsburys tolerate slippage of up to 20% because it's cheaper than employing staff or security tagging everything. I know from the amount of knock-off gear that is touted in the pubs how much happens.
But I'm not sure that I'm comfortable either with my motives or the consequences of being caught.
