Gertsamtkunstwerk

Euggggh- and they call it safe sex...

Masturbation Horror Stories. Not work safe. Not food safe.

via Jon

It was always going to be one of those days

In between work I had some interesting encounters with organisations supposedly providing a customer service. My first task was trying to get O2 to activate my GPRS on my phone. I phoned them three times. Each time I was dealt with by a different barely-out-of-school-boy. Each of them was barely articulate, poor enunciation and use of too much street slang. Trying to be clever and 'witty', and patronising me when I explained my problem. Trying to make out that I shouldn't have a signal indicator for GPRS, anyway (hmm, I have a blank one, plus the clever little side thing produces 'GPRS not allowed'); trying to make out that I don't have GPRS on my account, anyway. (Yes, I do). after three calls they told me to phone the Carphone Warehouse. There, I spoke to an articulate grown-up, who took no more than two minutes to explain that the GPRS is still linked to the SIM in my old phone, but should be activated on my new one by tomorrow evening. If not, I should call back Thursday.

I then received a call from Parcelforce at Mitcham explaining that they cannot deliver my flooring because it is too heavy. I expressed surprise, because they managed to deliver two identical parcels. They said, really, they shouldn't have done, because of Health and Safety. I said I won't argue with Health and Safety, but, because it contains two boxes, maybe they could split the package and deliver it as two. They said they would get it to me tomorrow. I said it would have to be Saturday, before I go out to the hairdressers. (I assume they contacted me because of the fax I sent to Homebase yesterday. Why they couldn't have contacted me earlier, I don't know!). Personally, I think that's not really the story - why would Parcelforce have accepted such a heavy parcel in the first place. And surely, with a customer such as Homebase, they must have some contractual arrangement about the maximum acceptable size of parcels! I said to my colleagues that I shall become a hermit and live in the wilds away from the demands of capitalist consumer society.

Fortunately, at lunchtime, I went to the bank to check that my Servicecard has been activated - I didn't want to try and get cashback and find my card being refused in front of former, current and future colleagues. For once, NatWest have got it spot-on.

After lunch someone from Royal Sun Alliance phoned. I have to say, I am impressed about how quickly they responded - I only contacted them last night, and this chap's coming tomorrow, at about nine o'clock to inspect things. Mind you, I expect that the claim will be turned down. Although, I've just re-measured the window: it's 8" by 10" and windows greater than 9" by 9" need to be locked.

The flower shop next to Jimmy's cafe was broken into last night. They don't touch the flowers, of course - to get any money from that would mean a day's work selling them at the traffic lights. Just the till, which Jane had left open, as per good practice. She just had the float in it. There was a very small handprint found.

The Pizza Chalet was done as well, which makes more sense than the flower shop, because the bulk of their takings are after banking hours. When Jimmy passed by this morning - about five o'clock - there was a heavy police present outside the Bingo Hall. The Wetherspoons was done a few nights ago. The Hand had its pool table forced with a crowbar last week; John opened the door to let them out before he realised what had happened. You go for months not hearing of any break-ins, then you get loads in a few days. The SoCOs told me there had been a spate.

And the cameras on my road began working yesterday.

Is blogging like real life?

Lynn Daisy Moi at Bacon Cheese and Oatcakes talks about having more contact with people in Blogland than in real-life, partly due to her hearing impediment. she talks about the dilemma of how much information it is safe to give out on line.

Many people have stated how the persona they present on their blog, while being largely true, is only part of their real selves. I think I may have written about this here already.

I often think of Blogging as a bit like going to the pub. There's always one sad tosser going on about the world, moan moan moan. Well, that's me :)

Seriously, I found it interesting that my post titled Blog Roll received so many comments. A cynic may say that it's because we, as bloggers, are collectively self-absorbed, and using any excuse to talk about blogging just shows us to be intellectual light weights. Or maybe it's just like being in a pub and talking about alcohol. It makes sense.

Sure, we could talk about and blog about the big ideas, about philosophy and theology and astronomy, but really, who does? I would imagine that 90% of conversation is mundane.

Of course, the third explanation may be that the high number of comments came from a desire to demonstrate distaste for the mocking tone of the second comment. Which demonstrates another interesting characteristic of the blog world - the genuine niceness of people. Maybe it's an escape from the outside world where many of us do battle with the small inconsiderations of strangers and the big ones of colleagues and businesses. In the blogosphere there are very few ad hominem attacks.

Moi says "here may not really be as safe as real-life so I have to curb my typing fingers for fear that I might give too much away". Perhaps it's no bad thing that we have to curb our typing fingers. At least we have that choice - some people give away very little personal information. In other aspects of their life they may have to talk about personal problems or weaknesses they feel uncomfortable about.

Some people don't reveal their real name at all. I've just done a search on one such person and found the name with which they registered their domain, which is quite different from their blog name. I could spend the evening finding the home addresses, surnames etc of loads of people. If I could be bothered, what would I then do with the information? If I did decide to 'stalk' one of those people, it wouldn't be because of blogging - surely it would be easier to stalk someone who lives near me or whatever...