Gertsamtkunstwerk

Old photos short stories: A teenage holiday in Argyll

So many people have written stories about their childhood/teenage family holidays, and I am sure I could write a whole book of my memories. Suffice to say that, by the age of 17, you really don't want to be going on holiday with your parents, especially when your parents are old-fashioned, and absolutely want to avoid doing anything that inferior people would do, or that a teenager might like, or indeed acknowledge that a 17 year old is not a child. 

We stayed in a 'lodge' on a Hoseasons Park 'near' Dunoon. It still exists and now has facilities that might appeal to a 17 year old and a 10 year old. Back then, it was just a pool table and table tennis table. It rained a lot. Yes, it was August, but it was the West Coast of Scotland. I say it was near Dunoon, but the parents never stayed in a resort - and you'd be really pushed to call Dunoon a resort back then. It's one thing avoiding Skegness or Tenby, but Dunoon?

Back then, I had a Boots 126 compact camera: obviously, I have subsequently scanned those photos. Given the limits of the technology, I'm actually quite pleased with this collection!

    

 

 

It has struck me that the brother is exactly the age there his son will be when school breaks up. 

The desire to downsize

It was quite strange to go on my first real British holiday since 1986 (as opposed to long weekends or family/friend visiting, or buggerall). It's interesting in a way, seeing another part of my country. Or perhaps Scotland really is a 'foreign' country. I was conscious of being 'other' - although not uncomfortable or unwelcome. The currency was different - I struggled to identify the bank notes by colour alone. The dual (written) language took a little accustomising.

Some things were the same - no need for rapid mental arithmetic to calculate the cost; the ease of using Switch; the ease of walking into a pub and knowing how to behave and what to order; the same rubbish breakfast TV; same mobile provider (where there's a signal).

I had passing guilt that I was the *rich* Londoner being serviced by *poor* Scots. Then I pulled myself together. Scots have the same - better - educational opportunities as English people. Many of the people who served us had previously lived in a city, or were planning to go when they had done their Highers. Tourism isn't just a big industry for the Highlands and Islands, it's big for Britain and globally. Agriculture and Fishing are also big employers.

People are not forced to open their homes up as B&Bs. Most do it because they know that hard work has its own rewards. At one place we stayed, the woman does B&B during the summer, and in October takes off globetrotting for a month. She actually has the Lonely Planet Guide to Iran, has been to West Africa, and Vietnam/Cambodia/Laos, amongst others. This October she's off to Papua New Guinea and Easter Island.

There is something very attractive about living in the country. Deep in the country, I mean, not Surrey/Cheshire rurified suburbia. Yes, as Cath commented below, there are many conveniences to living in London, but I wonder whether the attractions of pizza delivery really compensate for the condoms on the path, the gangs of threatening looking youths hanging out on street corners, the noise and the pollution.

There is a risk in visiting a holiday location and deciding to radically change your life and live there. It's fine seeing it in August - what's it like in November or January. It's not normally warm, even in summer. Yes, it still being light at half nine on Skye is ace, but is 3 pm sunset so attractive in December. No doubt the bigger Co-ops, such as in Portree, are reasonably good, but wouldn't I miss my Sainsburys? Could I live somewhere where there is no Broadband? It's all very well having uncongested roads, but a bugger to be car dependent if you have just a minor limb injury.

Food glorious food

The standard of food encountered on holiday was exceptional. I twice ate frozen cod-and-chips - once on the ferry - and they weren't bad as far as such food goes. The breakfasts at Fort William's notorious Ossian's Hotel were appalling. Otherwise, we ate splendidly.

The highlights were Crannog in Fort William - a sumptuous feast, unfortunately we chose the halibut, not realising it was farmed; Uig Hotel - a luxurious South African run epicurean delight, where the giant prawns - langoustines - were caught by the waitress's father; Ee-usk on the North Pier in Oban (no website) - where the food was exquisite and the view terrific; the Water's Edge Restaurant at the Tobermory Hotel which was exceptional, and prides itself on locally sourcing wherever possible; and the Lodge on Loch Lomond

Hon menshes should also go to the Myrtle Inn in Callendar; Grog and Gruel; Ferry Inn, Uig - good food, let down by being understaffed; Oban Inn - minus point - it has no Real Ale; MacGochans for its Mull Cheese platter and Atlas ales; and the Village Inn for its succulent sandwiches and Fyne Ales.

Together with some good quality soups etc at Visitors Centres and so on, I can safely say that the nonsense spouted in the Press about British food being crap, except for in swanky West End restaurants is just wrong.

Scotland in bullets

Day 0
Stansted to Stirling

Day 1
Stirling/ Douane/Callendar
Loch Venachar

Day 2
Loch Katrine - walk/beach
Loch Lubnaig - beaches
Brechlin Falls

Day3
Killin
Loch Tay – drive round via Kenmore
A82 up to Rannoch Moor, spectacular
Glencoe - breathtaking
Fort William

Day 4
Boat trip, seals
Glen Nevis - river - falls - walk up the dried-up stream

Day5
Main road to Kyle of Localsh - bleak mountainous, lots of lochs. Good road.
Skye Bridge
Broadford/Portree/Uig

Day6
Old Man of Storr - steep climb, brilliant view, drive round Trotternish peninsular
Live music, late night

Day 7
Dunvegan, boat to seal colony, gardens

Day8
Ferry to Tarbert, Harris.
Coach trip round Lewis - Callanish Standing Stones, Dun Galloway Broch, peat & heather landscape, Black House/White House, Stornoway – (United 4 Bolton 0 – when I eventually got WAP reception!)
Drive south onto Harris past Tarbet, sandy beaches, view of Taransay - paddling - midges
Ferry back to Uig

Day 9
Set off drive to Kyle and onto Invermorriston on the banks of Loch Ness.
Walk – waterfalls
Oban the scenic route

Day 10
Walk to Oban. Book ferry to Mull. Walk round to Kerrera ferry.
Ferry. Island walk – 6 mile circle. Four seasons. Not a race.
Clouds open – revel in being drenched
Choppy crossing
Bus to Oban!
Oban Inn – fall down stairs. hurt left shoulder, ankles saved by walking boots

Day 11
Oban and District General hospital “fell down a mountain”
In and out in an hour
Drive to power station. Full (it was raining heavily)
Connel and falls of Lora
Distillery
Walk to Colisseum – camera won’t work.

Day 12
Ferry to Craignure. Drive to Tobermory. Bad road. Picturesque town.
Drive to Derveig
Old Byre Heritage Centre – scope for Victoria Wood play, role for Celia Imrie!
‘Scenic’ route – via unclassified road – to Calgary sandy beach – our plan to develop.

Day 13
Set out to Iona Ferry. Go two miles – rain and bad road. Turn back.
Tobermory pottery – shop
An Tabar Arts Centre – Sheila Robertson exhibition
Walk to Rubha Nan Gall lighthouse.

Day 14
Drive to Criagnure. Mull miniature railway. Steam loco. Fun.
Ferry to Oban and drive through Argyll to Loch Lomond. Hairy road – supposed to be a trunk road. ‘Arsehole huggers’
Luss – strolling, walking and relaxing

Day 15
Hour cruise round Loch Lomond
Drive to Loch Long. Too hot for walking. Just chill out. (Newcastle 1 United 2)

Day 16
Drive to airport
Security – frisked, boots x-rayed and swabbed.
Flight – pretty picture of the field patterns of Southern Scotland and England
Anxiety in getting home – how’s house. Isn’t London shit?