Silliness

Tory Policy Generator

Hours of endless fun.

• Name and Shame Teenagers
• Evict intellectuals
• Make a Public Example of Hippies
• Stop Being Kind to Northerners
• Give MRSA to Howard Flight
• Introduce the Death Penalty for Drug Abusers
• Stop Being Kind To Lesbians
• Bring back caning for hunt saboteurs

And if the policies aren't enough - how will pay for it

• By making school leavers do all the work for free in local government.
• By abolishing Jobcentres.
• By having a car boot sale of all the assets of local government.
• By eliminating waste (and jobs) in the British Army.
• By withdrawing the national minimum wage from Universities.
• By pretending we can get the money from social services departments.
• By withdrawing all public funding from Wales.

Their pledges:

1. Disciplined Barbeques
2. Shiny Picnics
3. Excellent Boots
4. Cleaner Homes
5. Easier Cricket Bats

or, alternatively:

1. Reduced Families
2. Controlled Sheep
3. Warm Hospitals
4. Australian Immigrants
5. 1950′s style Taxes

Are you smoking what we're smoking?

Serious Thinking About Hard Choices for Balham, Brixton, Clapham and Streatham

via Chris