Every good household should have one compilation of footy related songs. But what kind of fool has three..? I know one was a pressie. the other two must have been bought by The Crap Album buyer who inhabits part of my body...
I have to say footy songs fall into different categories.
- Songs by or about one's club country, for which one has a liking regardless of the objective musical qualities - Red Tribe, anyone (not good, but it's Uni'ed, innit?); Ooh Aah Cantona; World in Motion
- songs about hated clubs that, regardless of their musical quality, have a certain charm - Blue is the Colour (football is the game, winning is our aim); Ossie's Dream (yes, I know, it's Chas 'n' Dave, but I do like it) 'in the cup for Tottingham'; Nice One Cyril
- songs that have no merit whatsoever - We're Off to Wembley Cos We Beat the Arsenal (Chas & Dave); Diamond Lights
- Evocative tunes - Grandstand Theme, anyone? And doesn't Sportsnight sound like Parky? I mean old Parky, when he was good, when he was on the Beeb, before he sold out to ITV and went rubbish?
- Songs that were not originally about football and have at least a sort of greatness about them - You'll Never Walk Again; All Together Now; Ode to Joy; Always Look On the Bright Side of Life (how many chart toppers contain the phrase 'just before you draw your terminal breath'?); Life of Riley; We Are the Champions; Tubthumping; and the great Swing Low Sweet Chariot, which, in this version by Ladysmith Black Mambazo and China White sounds really, quite, musical!
- 'Guilty Pleasures' songs eg Keggy's Head Over Heels In Love (I know, I know...)
- Songs pointlessly spoiled - Fog on the Tyne
- Songs that one ought to like but don't- Belfast Boy; Back Home; All the Way; How Does It Feel To Be) On Top of The World - for heaven's sake it's written by Jonny Marr and Ian McCulloch, and ought, therefore, to be good, but it isn't
- The just Great - Glory, Glory Man United; Come On You Reds; Three Lions
- and the leth thaid about Franco Corelli thinging Nethun Dorma, the better
But the very best of the lot - the quintessentially English 'Vindaloo' by Fat Les.
Woo, I think I have a Ph.D proposal here...
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