Really not an inspiring name for two double CDs. and, obviously, not fitting in with my image. Eighty or so tracks, inevitably some turkeys. But in my quest to play my entire record collection I am not allowed to skip the turkeys (I make an exception for Cliff Richard's Saviours Day and Mistletoe and Wine which lurk on some compilations somewhere in my collection) There are a few noteworthy or okayish tracks, but frankly, even despite these, or perhaps because of - pearls among swine - this is the sort of two-volume double CD compilation that removes the will to live.
What a winning concept. Chick. Flick. 'Movies' - or what I call fillums often have music to them. Let's categorise, let's make assumptions that no 'chick' can possibly like Shawshank Redemption or Indiana Jones. Let's put together a 2-volume double-CD compilation of these tunes from mainly forgettable films - the most mentally stimulating being Notting Hill and Sleepless in Seattle. The chicks are so thick they will buy it.
And this chick was so thick she bought it. Not once, but twice. I would like to pretend that it was in my reckless youth. But it wasn't. It was this century. When I was well into my thirties. More than Old Enough To Know Better. Thirty odd quid I wasted on these bags o' shite. Enough to get me a seat and a programme, and have some left over for a gin, at Covent Garden. I am going to blame my WankerTosserExManager for forcing me into ridiculous retail therapy at the woeful WH Smith at Victoria Station. After all, immature stupid people blame others rather than taking responsibility for their actions, and the sheer act of buying these CDs - Not once, but twice - shows that I am incurably stupid and immature.
A thousand curses on the Ultimate Chick Flick Soundtrack.
I have been writing this entry as I go along - work in progress - and this evening I wrote the following:
It may just be that this collection is saved by the second disc of Volume 2, which includes Waterloo - ABBA; You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate; The Shoop Shoop Song - Cher; Grease - Frankie Valli; and I'm Every Woman - Chaka Khan all of which are at least good songs (some verging on greatness), and ace for bopping round the room singing into my pretend microphone. Mind you, I have a good few on other albums.But it also contains The Corrs. I saw them on the TV last week, and they were just awful. Bland and boring. And cushion-throwing-inspiring...And Jennifer Lopez, Destiny's Child, Britney Spears, and P.O.D.
Of course, the *beauty* of such compilations is that they also contain utter crud eg All the Love In the World - The Corrs; Madonna murdering American Pie; Let's Hear It for The Boy - Deniece Williams; Feelin' Love - Paula Cole (indeed, the second disc of the first volume is almost enough to make me think: yes, I know I promised that I would not fast-forward through any track, but is my honour more important than my mental health...); Lady Marmalade - Labelle; and Jimmy Durante's very bad version of As Time Goes By.
The decent tracks:-
- Cruel Summer - Bananarama (the original, and best, Girl Band) - oh how we can dance to this with our big hair and New Romantic make-up.
- Lonely at the Top - Randy Newman
- Show Me Heaven - Maria McKee
- Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet - okay, I got really sick of this for the two years that it was at number one, and seemed to be playing in every shop and bar I entered, but, y'know, it's quite a nice tooon.
- When You Say Nothing at All - Ronan Keating - everything in my intellect makes me fight against liking this, it's RK from some boyband or other, it's cheesy, it's a favourite amongst the Mail/Express-reading classes. It's from Notting Hill, which I saw and, embarrassingly enjoyed, incongruously in Manhattan's East Village (excuse - with temperatures in the high 90s, the cinema was invitingly air conditioned). I find this a pleasant, tuneful, lyrically meaningful song.
- Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison. A fine song, especially in pub jukeboxes. I only have one complaint - it would be so much better if it was called "Blue Eyed Girl" (One of my fave songs is Anyone Seen My Gal? - Five Foot Two Eyes of Blue - that's me!)
- Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes. By rights, I shouldn't like this over-sentimental, middle-of-the-road tosh. Many friends were well into An Office and A Gentleman; to me it's an entirely forgettable film. But the song is evocative of a time and a place. My bedroom in Fourth Year (what they now call Year 10).
- Can't Fight the Moonlight -Leann Rimes. For all I know this woman is a One-Hit Wonder. I happen to like this song. Not greatly, but in a way that it lingers in my mind.
- Ballad of Lucy Jordan - Marianne Faithful - worth in itself the £15.99 I paid for the double album, first volume.
- Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers
- You Do Something To Me- Paul Weller
- She - Elvis Costello and the LSO
- Cry To Me - Soloman Burke
Actually, there's a fair amount of damn good stuff mixed with some utter tosh.
Still, thank Christ the next CD scheduled is Mozart...!
