Gertsamtkunstwerk

Football shirt

I live in the borough of Wigan. Today I have been hunting for a Wigan Athletic shirt, but my dad says I can not have one because I would be called a pie eater. However yesterday Wigan beat my Dads team Manchester City 4-3. So I said at 1-0 that if Wigan won I could get a Wigan shirt out of my JJB vouchers. I won. He had the last laugh but only for a day. Because none of the stores had them in due to the popularity of the shirts I can not get one untill Tommorow.

Christmas Packaging

Gert is now in her holiday destination , and it is now time for guest blogging.
This year has been really hard getting all the plastic tags off boxes. Why do manufacturers have to put so many tags and screws on childrens toys? There is no chance that a child could get in the box. It took 25 minutes for my Mum to get into a Bratz styling doll.

Chavs

Today, seeing as though Gert cannot blog, it has been handed over to me, Joseph. Today's blog will be about chavs instead of sport, apart from mentioning that England won 2-0 against Azerbaijan. I was in Wigan this morning getting a football ticket to go and see Wigan Athletic v West Ham even though I am a Utd supporter. As we were walking back to the car we saw two security men run past us. Just as we turned the corner there was a person doing a citizens arrest.  One minute later two police cars turned up and a police van, and yes, you've guest it, he was a chav. He was wearing a tracksuit, Nike trainers and a baseball cap. You might enjoy the picture above but if you like McDonalds look away now.

It is the commercial

It is the commercial break in a programme about Chavs on Sky. Though not an expert on Chav culture it seems to be saying that it is as much about attitude as wearing Burberry garments. It brought back to me something from the other day when I saw an article in a newspaper where Jose Mourinho stated that as well as being perfect at everything, he thought that the Chelsea fans liked the way he looked. It was accompanied by a photograph of him walking across the pitch with a serious expression and a pout that made him look like Donald Duck. He is normally recorded with this particular expression. Personally, I have nothing against Mr Mourinho, and I think his record shows that he is a very good manager. However, is the pout to become a trademark just like Jordans wink and pucker, and Paul McCartney's open mouthed surprise expression (both of which I think make them look ridiculous)? I can just imagine Mr Mourinho preparing for his post match comments in front of a mirror making sure that he has his mouth set perfectly.

Today the boat race

Today the boat race was taking place on the River Thames. It was really close but then at half way Oxford took the advantage of one of the corners, and won quite easily, with their time 0:16:14. Before that took place a Tsunami relief effort football match was played at Anfield. It was Celebs v Legends. For the Celebs there were people such as Amir Khan, Patrick McGuinness, Shane Richie and Westlife. They were facing The Liverpool legends who included Ian Rush, Kenny Dalglish and Alan Hansen. Hansen has to ask himself ‘Where was the defence for the second goal?’ The score was 6-2 to the Legends.(By Joseph)

Pains

Since yesterday we have been inundated with multiple meaningless comments for the site. I have been logging on every hour just to get rid of them. All the messages say things like 'Nice site' and 'Just saying hi'. Fortunately Gert left us a contact to ask for advice in the case of anything going wrong and she was able to take us through how to ban them. It seems to have worked although I noticed that I had banned a legitimate commenter in the process. Sorry about that and I have now re-instated them. The process also seemed to be automated as all the ip addresses were different making it futile banning the particular ip address for each message. Being a blogging novice, I can't understand what benefit someone gets out of doing that except for maybe brightening up their sad lives. Has anyone else had the same experience?

Today England played Northern

Today England played Northern Ireland at Old Trafford and of course England won 4-0. The scorers were Joe Cole, Michael Owen, Baird OG and Lampard. This is Joseph again and I did the blogging yesterday as well.

Jim Callaghan

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4385047.stm

Just had a text message from Barcelona. Message said Jim Callaghan has died, get blogging. It just goes to show that even when she's abroad Gert doesn't switch off! She found out before I did.

Daredevilling Sister

Today I have learnt a lesson that sisters have more guts than anyone. This picture shows my sister jumping the size of a house at the Manchester Arndale Centre after my mum said she would never do it.

England Shirt Launch

Today the new England home shirt came out with the shorts and socks. Altogether it cost £44.00. I went to buy the whole kit with my own money today. I will be wearing it when England play Northern Ireland on Saturday at the best ground in the world, Old Trafford.

P.S - This is Joseph, not b-in-l as I don't have access to upload pictures on my account

Paranoia

I'm not normally one to get paranoid but I have just started wondering whether Gert is out to get me. I was scrolling through some old news items and came across this one. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/503224.stm (Sorry, I tried to insert a proper link but it didn't appear to work) I notice how the other guest bloggers have got straightforward names such as 'Your sister' and 'Joseph', but mine is b-in-l. Alarm bells started jangling when Gert suggested that I say I live in Arden. I'm expecting the paratroops to descend on Pitprop Lane any second now!

Child number 1 has lent me some up to date news material to comment on. I'll work through the night to ensure I have something topical tomorrow.

B-in-L

Just noticed my dearest better half wrestling with the computer and thought it would be an ideal opportunity to change this site into a Manchester City fanzone as I know Gert would be delighted on her return.

Unfortunately, nobody in this house follows opera, although Gert's niece is rather dramatic and adores the ballet. Likewise, we are not particularly exercised by political debate, so I'm afraid regulars may be a wee bit disappointed until Gert's return.

Child no.1 (and chief blogging assistant) has been trying to find ring tones for his phone. His main search has been to try to find Amarillo. (I offered to show him the way!). When I mentioned that I remembered it the first time round he looked at me as though I was stupid. The shame of it is that I used to love the song, along with 'Avenues and Alleyways' but having made the mistake of buying him the best of Tony Christie, if I hear it one more time I'm likely to throw the CD player through the window.

Child no.2 is pretending to clean her room. She disappeared for 2 minutes and then returned saying that it had been done. I'll have a look at it in a minute but expect to see everything shoved under the bed.

I'm happy to take part in any discussion I understand. In the meantime I'll rack my brain for some starters for 10. Bear with us if you would be so kind.

Mild Panic

Thank you for the greetings from other bloggers. I seem to be spending a lot of time removing spam messages.

I had a mild panic attack at 12.20pm when I thought it said on a well known daytime tv show that the General Election HAD been called for 5th May. However thankfully it hasn't as this is Gert's department and there will be PAGES written about it by her.

I have to be on my toes this week as she informed me from the chav lounge at Gatwick, (though being a northerner I am not acquainted with it) yesterday she was looking at an internet cafe, and she was sure there would be plenty in Barcelona to keep an eye on me.

Hello World

As The residents of Gert Cottage are now away on yet another city break the relatives will be manning this site. It is a promising start that I have managed to navigate my way to this spot. I have deleted a couple of unsuitable spam messages- so far so good.I hope there will be no major news events in the next week, as I won't be able to produce a thesis on them- being a mother of 2 young children on school holidays,though one will be assisting.

Keep singing BARCELONA